July 12, 2019 Man Willing to Free Aliens From Base Before Children From Cages Man Willing to Free Aliens From Base Before Children From Cages CALIENTE, Nev. — Subreddit moderator for r/RealAliens Devin Byam told sources Friday that, while he would absolutely be willing to free any extraterrestrials he is…
May 18, 2019 New Board Game Uses All Your Other Unopened Board Games as Resource Tokens New Board Game Uses All Your Other Unopened Board Games as Resource Tokens CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. — Fantasy Flight Games released a highly anticipated new board game this week, titled Storage Worlds, which features the revolutionary mechanic of using…
May 17, 2019 Will I Understand John Wick 3 If I Haven’t Grasped Object Permanence? Will I Understand John Wick 3 If I Haven’t Grasped Object Permanence? I know what you’re thinking and, yes, I am a baby. Let’s get past that. It’s fair to wonder whether I should even be allowed…
May 7, 2019 Game of Thrones Finale to Kill Off Millions of HBO Subscriptions Game of Thrones Finale to Kill Off Millions of HBO Subscriptions NEW YORK — In response to viewer complaints HBO had become too reluctant to dispatch high-profile characters on Game of Thrones, the show’s producers revealed…
March 22, 2019 New Tax on Violent Video Games Encourages Kids to Get Outside, Kill Real People for Once New Tax on Violent Video Games Encourages Kids to Get Outside, Kill Real People for Once PHILADELPHIA — The Pennsylvania State Legislature introduced a bill this week proposing an additional tax on violent video games, in a concerted effort to encourage…
October 23, 2018 Every Red Dead Redemption 2 Tombstone to Feature Names of Real Developers Who Died During Production Every Red Dead Redemption 2 Tombstone to Feature Names of Real Developers Who Died During Production NEW YORK — Emaciated Rockstar Games’ programmer, Cassie Collier, revealed to Kotaku writer Jason Schreier that every tombstone in the forthcoming Red Dead Redemption 2…
September 29, 2018 Inventor of USB Unintentionally Buried Upside Down Inventor of USB Unintentionally Buried Upside Down ASHLAND, Ore. — A throng of mourners were reportedly horrified yesterday when it was revealed that Ajay Bhatt, inventor of the USB port, had been…
July 3, 2018 New Steam Guidelines Allow Everything Except Half-Life 3 New Steam Guidelines Allow Everything Except Half-Life 3 BELLEVUE, Wash. — In response to a number of controversial games being sold on their store, Valve has updated its guidelines for Steam, rescinding any…
March 30, 2018 Study Finds 100% Correlation Between Winning Board Games and Irresistible Sex Appeal Study Finds 100% Correlation Between Winning Board Games and Irresistible Sex Appeal DENVER — Scientists have announced the discovery of a clear, 100% correlation between the stunning board game skill of sophomore college student Steven Jackson and…
