Jon Ruggiero

Castlevania Millennial Worried They Will Never Own House With a Second Upside Down House Under It

WALLACHIA, Romania — Local millennial Daniel Balan, 32, is reportedly fed up with the state of the world and worries…

3 years ago

Late Night Trip to Fridge Derailed By Enemy Who Wasn’t There During Daytime

TOLUCA LAKE, Calif. — After moving to a new home and before learning its spawn points, local woman Janice Dramps…

3 years ago

Gamer Lying About Going To High School Prom Describes Dance Scene From Final Fantasy 8

MAUMEE, Ohio — Local gamer Tyler Wozen, while trying to impress a date with his experiences in high school, lied…

3 years ago

Geno’s Aunt at Thanksgiving Keeps Suggesting He Apply to Be in ‘Smash Bros’

STAR ROAD — Super Mario RPG character Geno, also known as ♡♪!?, had a reportedly frustrating conversation with his aunt…

3 years ago

New Animal Crossing Update Includes Fatalities

TOKYO — Nintendo announced today in a surprise Direct that they are adding even more features to Animal Crossing: New…

3 years ago

Guy Stuck in ‘Groundhog Day’ Style Time Loop Finally Has Time to Watch All Those ‘Groundhog Day’ Style Time Loop Movies

PUNXSUTAWNEY, Pa. — Local man Carson Greevers, who has been stuck in a time loop for an indiscernible amount of…

3 years ago

Fortnite to Host Comedy Show With 200-Foot-Tall Pete Davidson

CARY, N.C. — After the success of a recent in-game performance by Ariana Grande, Epic Games announced that the next…

3 years ago

Gamer Working Through Backlog Amazed How Good Pong Is

LAREDO, Texas — While playing through his gaming backlog on Twitch, professional streamer Duncan Clyde was surprised to find out…

3 years ago

Local Blacksmith Gives Quest to Go See His Band at the Tavern Tonight

INTREPID ISLE, Midgard — Blacksmith Angus Krant issued a quest this morning for all adventures that visit his stall: stay…

3 years ago