April 15, 2020 Huge Star Wars Fan Meets Mortal Enemy, Other Huge Star Wars Fan Huge Star Wars Fan Meets Mortal Enemy, Other Huge Star Wars Fan DECATUR, Ga. — Local Star Wars superfan John Aaronson, 38, recently encountered his arch nemesis: a fellow Star Wars superfan in the form of 35…
March 26, 2020 Manga on Hiatus After Artist Takes Bathroom Break Manga on Hiatus After Artist Takes Bathroom Break TOKYO — Popular manga Brave Fighter’s Journey was recently put on hiatus by its publisher as writer and artist Okobo Toshiro took a brief break…
January 13, 2020 Everyone Wishes Man Would Stop Using Tongue to Twirl Control Stick in Mario Party Everyone Wishes Man Would Stop Using Tongue to Twirl Control Stick in Mario Party DENVER — A group of friends is appalled over one member’s insistence on using his tongue to spin the control stick in Mario Party mini…
January 9, 2020 Man Yearning For ‘Good Old Days’ Mostly Yearning for Bionicle Man Yearning For ‘Good Old Days’ Mostly Yearning for Bionicle MILWAUKEE — Nostalgic 26-year-old James Crawford claims he spent his week reminiscing about the halcyon days of 2001, though sources report he was mostly pining…
December 10, 2019 So-Called Pianist Doesn’t Even Know Any Castlevania Songs So-Called Pianist Doesn’t Even Know Any Castlevania Songs BOSTON — The musical credentials of Berklee College of Music-trained pianist Bryan Adkins were called into question after it was revealed he doesn’t even know…
December 9, 2019 God Damn It: Fantasy Novel Has a Bunch of Songs in It God Damn It: Fantasy Novel Has a Bunch of Songs in It CHARLESTON, S.C. — Horrified readers across the nation are reporting highly anticipated fantasy novel Obelisk of Dawn is packed with awful songs. “Sing for the…
September 18, 2019 Dungeon Master Really Wishes Player Wouldn’t Swish Dice in Their Mouth Before Every Roll Dungeon Master Really Wishes Player Wouldn’t Swish Dice in Their Mouth Before Every Roll GREENVILLE, S.C. — A local Dungeons and Dragons group is being torn apart by player Martin Bellamy’s insistence on swishing their dice around in their…
August 10, 2019 Epic Games Store Exclusivity to Come With Free Witness Protection for Developers Epic Games Store Exclusivity to Come With Free Witness Protection for Developers CARY, N.C. — Following recent developments with Ooblets and other titles, Epic Games have announced a change to their exclusivity contracts, adding free witness protection…
July 23, 2019 Opinion: Actually You Can Leave Out a Few Pokémon, It’s Fine Opinion: Actually You Can Leave Out a Few Pokémon, It’s Fine Alright, Game Freak: what the fuck do you think you are doing not bringing the National Dex to Pokémon Sword and Shield? Are you trying…
