December 5, 2021 Mega Man Unsure of Optimal Order to Ask Bosses for Raise Mega Man Unsure of Optimal Order to Ask Bosses for Raise FALLS CHURCH, Va. — Humanoid robot Mega Man expressed dismay at having no idea what the ideal order is for asking his numerous bosses for…
May 6, 2021 YouTube Creators Share Tips for Perfectly Timing Orgasm with Taking Thumbnail Photo YouTube Creators Share Tips for Perfectly Timing Orgasm with Taking Thumbnail Photo LOS ANGELES — Many YouTubers are letting fans in on the secrets of how to time their orgasms while taking video thumbnail photos to capture…
October 20, 2020 World’s Most Boring Video Game Player Raises Defense Stat World’s Most Boring Video Game Player Raises Defense Stat PEORIA, Ill. — Friends of Shaun Conner were disappointed but unsurprised as he continually raised the defense stat of his RPG character, cementing his place…
July 23, 2020 Valorant Player a Disappointment to All His Friends in Real Life Too Valorant Player a Disappointment to All His Friends in Real Life Too GREENSBORO, N.C. — Local gamer Harry Olsen continues to frustrate his friends with a total lack of awareness and poor decision-making both in Riot Games’…
March 9, 2020 New Podcast ‘My Least Favorite Murder’ Discusses Death of Host’s Wife New Podcast ‘My Least Favorite Murder’ Discusses Death of Host’s Wife SIOUX FALLS, S.D. — Capitalizing on the true crime entertainment craze, Clifford Waters has turned his grief over his wife’s murder into fame and cash…
September 24, 2019 NFL Dating Simulator Wins Survival Horror Game of the Year NFL Dating Simulator Wins Survival Horror Game of the Year NEW YORK — NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell held a press conference at NFL Headquarters to announce that their terrifying new video game NFL Dating Simulator…
September 23, 2019 Friends Concerned After White Guy Expresses No Interest in Visiting Japan Friends Concerned After White Guy Expresses No Interest in Visiting Japan COLUMBUS, Ohio — Pasty white guy Michael Stephenson alarmed friends and loved ones by vocalizing that he had absolutely no interest in visiting Japan, disturbed…
June 20, 2019 Department of Defense Confirms North Korea Building Their Own Kitten Cannon Department of Defense Confirms North Korea Building Their Own Kitten Cannon SEOUL — U.S. and South Korean officials revealed that North Korea is building their own version of the “kitten cannon,” inspired by Addicting Game’s Kitten…
June 18, 2019 Lil Nas X’s ‘Old Town Road’ Released in Japan as ‘Lil Castlevania Nas X: Old Town Rondo of Road’ Lil Nas X’s ‘Old Town Road’ Released in Japan as ‘Lil Castlevania Nas X: Old Town Rondo of Road’ TOKYO — Konami announced plans to create a music record label to release smash hit song “Old Town Road” by Lil Nas X to Japanese…
