Jimmy Beliakoff

End of an Era: Man Clicks “Update” Instead of “Remind Me Later”

PITTSBURGH — Putting to rest over 8 months of daily urging from his mobile phone, Jake Warner finally let his…

3 years ago

Video Game Physicists Propose Existence of Theoretical Third Jump

CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Physicists specializing in video game theory have now speculated that a third jump may in fact be…

3 years ago

Gamer Backtracks Through Childhood Experiences to Find Nostalgia for Metroid Game

ST. PETERSBURG, Fla. — Local gamer Libbi Fisher is reportedly backtracking through the corridors of her childhood to find the…

3 years ago

We Asked an AI to Watch 1,000 Hours of Classic Cinema and It Told Us, “Thanks! I Will Add It to the List Haha”

AI technology is constantly improving and it can even be kind of freaky seeing all of the cool things that…

3 years ago

Man Working Remotely Drives Somewhere, Anywhere, Just to Listen to Podcast

RENO, Nev. — Local remote worker Jeremiah Hills reportedly got into his car late last night and drove as far…

3 years ago

Innovative Star Wars Actress Becomes Hated for Something Other Than Being Woman

LOS ANGELES — The Mandalorian’s Gina Carano has broken new ground for Star Wars by becoming the first actress in…

4 years ago

Cyberpunk 2077 QA Team Horrified to Learn Game Has Already Released

WARSAW —  After emerging from their offices for the first time in months following long hours crunching on Cyberpunk 2077,…

4 years ago

$1 Mobile App Better Change Buyer’s Life Forever at That Price

LOS ANGELES — Dave Gordon expressed skepticism at purchasing a $1 app on his phone unless it would bring lifelong,…

4 years ago

All Cops Are Bastards Even If They Can Collect All Five COMBO Letters While Scoring 12,376,400 Points

Alright, listen up. I’ve heard of you bootlicking posers that have been asking if this or that person is excused…

4 years ago