March 19, 2018 Sixth Attempt to Start Reading Literary Classic “Dune” Going OK Sixth Attempt to Start Reading Literary Classic “Dune” Going OK NEW YORK — Local science fiction enthusiast Miles DuBonnet is reportedly having an “alright” go at his sixth attempt to begin reading what is often…
March 13, 2018 McElroy Brothers Enjoy 15 Non-Recorded Minutes McElroy Brothers Enjoy 15 Non-Recorded Minutes HUNTINGTON, W.Va. — Famous brothers Justin, Travis, and Griffin McElroy were not on a podcast, Polygon web video, Twitch stream, SeeSo show, or viral Vine…
February 21, 2018 Halo 2 Lobby in 12th Year of Guy Delaying Countdown Halo 2 Lobby in 12th Year of Guy Delaying Countdown ANAHEIM, Calif. — A group of twelve Halo 2 players currently stuck in a matchmaking lobby reportedly hit the twelfth year of trying to start…
February 13, 2018 Co-Worker Mysteriously Has to Poop Every Day at 3 p.m. Co-Worker Mysteriously Has to Poop Every Day at 3 p.m. NEW YORK — Employees at Reinhart Media noticed today that co-worker Steven Harrisburg mysteriously has to go to the bathroom for an extended period of…
February 4, 2018 Local Gamer Secretly Hoping Giant Fox Robots Actual Part of Super Bowl Local Gamer Secretly Hoping Giant Fox Robots Actual Part of Super Bowl PHILADELPHIA — Local nerd-culture fan Mac Armory, 22, is secretly hoping that one of those cool Fox Sports football-playing robots make an appearance in the actual…
February 2, 2018 Director of Mario Movie Revealed to be Two Gloved Hands Director of Mario Movie Revealed to be Two Gloved Hands KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo announced today in a press release that the future Mario film will be directed by two large disembodied hands covered in…
January 26, 2018 Dragon Ball FighterZ to Include Show-Accurate 15 Hour-Long Matches Dragon Ball FighterZ to Include Show-Accurate 15 Hour-Long Matches TOKYO, Japan — Fans booted up the new “Dragon Ball FighterZ” today to discover that all fights in the game are roughly fifteen hours long…
January 15, 2018 Meet the Teens Who Are Murdering Each Other in Real Life Rocket League Meet the Teens Who Are Murdering Each Other in Real Life Rocket League Everybody loves a real-life version of a fun video game. A real Italian plumber named Mario? Incredible. An actual person named Pac-Man who is afraid…
January 12, 2018 Teen Practicing for School Shooting in PUBG Keeps Getting Killed Before Finding Weapon Teen Practicing for School Shooting in PUBG Keeps Getting Killed Before Finding Weapon DENVER — Dylan Maris, 16, reportedly practiced for a school shooting using the popular violent video game PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds late last night, despite never being…
