June 27, 2018 White Guy Doesn’t Have Enough Mana to Play Race Card White Guy Doesn’t Have Enough Mana to Play Race Card CHICAGO — Local nerd Chris Patson found himself in a tight spot this morning during a political argument with his African American friend Carla Stevenson…
June 21, 2018 New Co-Worker Won’t Shut the Fuck Up About ‘The Walking Dead’ New Co-Worker Won’t Shut the Fuck Up About ‘The Walking Dead’ LOS ANGELES — Employees at local bar and arcade The Joy Stick reportedly find Griff Softwick, a new bartender who started working there two days…
June 18, 2018 SWAT Team Actually Huge Fan of Streamer SWAT Team Actually Huge Fan of Streamer ORANGE COUNTY, Calif. — A SWAT team sent to stop a fake threat at the home of professional Twitch streamer Michael “shroud” Grzesiek reportedly told…
June 14, 2018 Sakurai: Waluigi is Too Big to Fit in Smash Bros Sakurai: Waluigi is Too Big to Fit in Smash Bros KYOTO, Japan — Masahiro Sakurai, creator of the video game series Super Smash Bros., explained to disappointed fans today that the reason Waluigi is not…
June 7, 2018 Star Wars Fan Restores Balance to the Force by Only Harassing White Male Cast Members Star Wars Fan Restores Balance to the Force by Only Harassing White Male Cast Members SEATTLE — Self-described male feminist Stephen Brassinger brought balance to a social media galaxy far far away by deciding to only harass the white male…
May 31, 2018 Roseanne Barr Honorarily Suspended From Overwatch League Roseanne Barr Honorarily Suspended From Overwatch League LOS ANGELES — After tweeting a racist comment to her 800,000 followers, Overwatch League has decided to give Roseanne Barr an honorary six-week suspension and…
May 27, 2018 Gamer Wishes Real Life Was Less Open World Gamer Wishes Real Life Was Less Open World OKLAHOMA CITY — Local gamer Emilie Brockview reportedly told friends that, despite loving open world gameplay in video games, she desperately yearns for more structure…
May 15, 2018 This is What Mario Would Look Like Without His Pubic Hair This is What Mario Would Look Like Without His Pubic Hair We’re used to how certain characters look in video games, right? And if they’re altered ever slightly, sometimes it can throw us for a loop.…
May 10, 2018 Opinion: Listen Up Fuckfaces, I’ll Write Whenever The Goddamn Fuck I Want To Opinion: Listen Up Fuckfaces, I’ll Write Whenever The Goddamn Fuck I Want To Listen up, you pathetic little nerdy fucklits: my name is George Raymond Richard Martin, and I’ll write whenever and whatever the goddamn fuck I want.…
