August 14, 2019 It’s Time to Face the Facts: Pinky and the Brain Are Never Going to Take Over the World It’s Time to Face the Facts: Pinky and the Brain Are Never Going to Take Over the World As America ages not-so-gracefully into its 240s, with climate change knocking on our doors and tribalism facing all-time highs, it’s time we become realistic about…
August 8, 2019 Resurrected TV Show Comes Back Changed, Comes Back Wrong Resurrected TV Show Comes Back Changed, Comes Back Wrong LOS ANGELES — Fans of a popular television show were reportedly horrified to discover the altered state in which it came back to life after…
August 8, 2019 Opinion: Who the Hell Would Want to Watch Someone Else Play a Sport? Opinion: Who the Hell Would Want to Watch Someone Else Play a Sport? I’m just hearing about this and I’m totally confused — people apparently watch other people play sports on live streams from their computers, TVs, and…
August 5, 2019 Neil deGrasse Tyson Informs Captive Locked in His Basement That Fear is Illogical Neil deGrasse Tyson Informs Captive Locked in His Basement That Fear is Illogical NEW YORK — Famed scientist Neil deGrasse Tyson told a captive locked up in his basement this evening that his emotional responses were “incredibly illogical,”…
August 5, 2019 Why Millions of Gamers Around the World Insist They Remember Mario’s Name as “Harold” Why Millions of Gamers Around the World Insist They Remember Mario’s Name as “Harold”
August 2, 2019 Pawn Gets Critical Hit in Chess Match Pawn Gets Critical Hit in Chess Match NEW YORK — A friendly chess match ended spectacularly when a white pawn got a critical hit on the black king, dealing a massive blow…
August 2, 2019 Finally: Nintendo Is Going Door to Door to Patch Wavedashing Out of Melee Finally: Nintendo Is Going Door to Door to Patch Wavedashing Out of Melee Super Smash Bros. creator Masahiro Sakurai announced today that Nintendo was finally going to send representatives around the world to install a mandatory manual patch…
July 29, 2019 Kamala Harris Announces Debt-Forgiveness Program for Gamers Who Finish Mother 4 Kamala Harris Announces Debt-Forgiveness Program for Gamers Who Finish Mother 4 SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Senator Kamala Harris announced a new policy plan that erases all student debt for gamers who are able to complete a 100%…
July 27, 2019 Kevin Feige Announces First Marvel “What If…?” Story Will Explore What If Captain America Was Straight Kevin Feige Announces First Marvel “What If…?” Story Will Explore What If Captain America Was Straight LOS ANGELES — President of Marvel Studios Kevin Feige revealed today that the first episode of the upcoming Disney+ show What If…? will explore an…
