April 9, 2020 Bernie Sanders Receives Mysterious Letter Bernie Sanders Receives Mysterious Letter BURLINGTON, Vt. — Senator Bernie Sanders has reportedly received a mysterious white letter with a red seal less than a day after announcing he was…
April 8, 2020 Video Game for Gamers by Gamers Video Game for Gamers by Gamers LOS ANGELES — A new video game is in production by a group of gamers and is intended to appeal to other gamers, according to…
April 7, 2020 Gamer Spices Up Resume With ‘Spends Hours Daily Solving Puzzles, Cooperating With Teammates, and Clearing Objectives’ Gamer Spices Up Resume With ‘Spends Hours Daily Solving Puzzles, Cooperating With Teammates, and Clearing Objectives’ SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Local gamer Kayla Stephenson reportedly included various video game skills on a job resume in an attempt to look more professional. “As…
April 6, 2020 Man Shocked to Discover Girlfriend Entirely CGI After Watching VFX Breakdown Man Shocked to Discover Girlfriend Entirely CGI After Watching VFX Breakdown FORT WAYNE, Ind. — Local boyfriend Steven Owen was shocked to discover that his girlfriend of three years was entirely CGI after watching a visual…
April 5, 2020 So-Called Resident Doesn’t Even Have DIY Recipes to Offer So-Called Resident Doesn’t Even Have DIY Recipes to Offer NEW YORK — Local apartment resident Milo, a 4-year old house cat, reportedly has no DIY recipes to offer his roommates, frustrated sources confirmed. “I…
April 4, 2020 Hackers Leak White House Plans for Great Depression Definitive Edition Hackers Leak White House Plans for Great Depression Definitive Edition WASHINGTON — An anonymous source has datamined the United States government and leaked what appears to be future plans for a release of the long…
April 3, 2020 Opinion: Hideo Kojima’s Next Game Must Be About a Nice World Where Nothing Bad Happens Opinion: Hideo Kojima’s Next Game Must Be About a Nice World Where Nothing Bad Happens As we trudge along through these desperate times, when the horrors of our lives were so accurately predicted in the hit video game Death Stranding,…
April 1, 2020 Opinion: The Only Way to Defeat Sauron is to Let Him Take Over Your Body and Rule Your City Opinion: The Only Way to Defeat Sauron is to Let Him Take Over Your Body and Rule Your City Let me start this off by saying that I despise Sauron as much as the rest of you. Sauron is a stain on our society…
March 31, 2020 Opinion: Dragon Ball Z Is a Turn-Based Fighting Show Opinion: Dragon Ball Z Is a Turn-Based Fighting Show As television becomes more fractured and confusing in the new decade, it’s important to take a step back and recategorize the different genres in a…
