February 13, 2021 Hayao Miyazaki Hospitalized After Son Announces New 4D Smell-O-Vision Film Hayao Miyazaki Hospitalized After Son Announces New 4D Smell-O-Vision Film TOKYO — Legendary filmmaker Hayao Miyazaki has been hospitalized as a result of his son Gorō Miyazaki announcing that his next film will be created…
February 12, 2021 Mass Effect Devs Compromise With Angry Gamers by Giving Commander Shepard Gigantic, Juicy Balls Mass Effect Devs Compromise With Angry Gamers by Giving Commander Shepard Gigantic, Juicy Balls EDMONTON — BioWare has announced a compromise for Mass Effect fans upset about the removal of various butt shots in the Legendary Editions, giving Commander…
February 7, 2021 Why We’re Replacing Review Scores With a Photo of Either an Approving or Disapproving Parent Why We’re Replacing Review Scores With a Photo of Either an Approving or Disapproving Parent As any self-respecting video game review reader knows, reviewing video games is really hard work and nothing hurts more than when someone loads up the…
February 4, 2021 Sony Accidentally Vaporizes Demonstrator in Showcase of PS5’s Technical Power Sony Accidentally Vaporizes Demonstrator in Showcase of PS5’s Technical Power NEW YORK — CEO of Sony Interactive Entertainment Jim Ryan accidentally vaporized intern Kris Smythe in a livestream demonstration of the PlayStation 5 this morning,…
February 3, 2021 Guy Afraid to Tell Coworkers His Salary Because He’s Paid in Trident Layers Gum Guy Afraid to Tell Coworkers His Salary Because He’s Paid in Trident Layers Gum BUFFALO, N.Y. — Local accountant Owen Yates is reportedly afraid to reveal his salary to his coworkers because of the fact that he is paid…
February 1, 2021 Porn Parody ‘Girls Done Quick’ Not Particularly Popular Porn Parody ‘Girls Done Quick’ Not Particularly Popular LOS ANGELES — Girls Done Quick, a new livestreamed porn parody of the hit video game convention Games Done Quick in which pornstars “speedrun” having…
January 27, 2021 Redditor Accidentally Invests Life Savings in GameSpot Redditor Accidentally Invests Life Savings in GameSpot SAN FRANCISCO — Local redditor Nelson Briggs has reportedly invested his entire life savings into video game news website GameSpot, mistaking it for the retailer…
January 24, 2021 Beware: If We Make Minimum Wage $15 Then People Won’t Need Two Jobs, Meaning They’ll Have Leisure Time, Meaning There Will Be More Gamers Beware: If We Make Minimum Wage $15 Then People Won’t Need Two Jobs, Meaning They’ll Have Leisure Time, Meaning There Will Be More Gamers The national debate over minimum wage has raged on in the United States ever since President Biden made it an immediate priority for his administration.…
January 22, 2021 Oh No: They Removed Donald Trump From Home Alone 2 But Accidentally Replaced Him With Pol Pot Oh No: They Removed Donald Trump From Home Alone 2 But Accidentally Replaced Him With Pol Pot Alright so we have some very good news and some very bad news. Let’s just… let’s start with the good news. Obviously, millions of Americans…
