Jeremy Kaplowitz

Cannes Source Reveals Critics Only Give Standing Ovations So Often Because the Seats Make Their Butts Hurt

CANNES, France — A source from within the inner circle at the Festival de Cannes has revealed that the reviewers…

3 years ago

Time Traveler Confirms George Orwell Was Talking About Facebook Meme Group Moderators

LONDON — A local time traveler has transported himself back to 1949 to confirm with author George Orwell that his…

3 years ago

Guy Decides Right Before Watching Movie If He’ll Like It or Not

TULSA, Okla. — Local moviegoer Nick Hancock decided, as he sat in his seat to watch the new Nicolas Cage…

3 years ago

The Top 5 Funniest Netflix Screenshots of All Time

There are some insanely funny television shows and movies on Netflix that simply cannot be explained with just words. That’s…

3 years ago

Kid Whose Uncle Works at Nintendo Doesn’t Have Any Secrets But Will Have Job at Nintendo

REDWOOD, Wash. — Local gamer Artur Underwood reportedly has an uncle who works at Nintendo who probably can’t give him…

3 years ago

We Really Need the SEO, So Here’s How You Can Get PlayStation 5

Looking to buy a PlayStation 5 PS5 PS4 controllers console online GameStop? Well you’ve come to the right place! The…

3 years ago

Dan Schneider and Smash Bros Community Team Up for Most Horrifying Scheme Ever

LOS ANGELES — Accused pedophile and Nickelodeon producer Dan Schneider has teamed up with accused pedophiles in the Smash Bros.…

3 years ago

Fabled Social Justice Warrior Wanders Coastal Bubble in Search of Opponent Woke Enough to Cancel Him

LOS ANGELES — Champion of all things woke, fabled social justice warrior Ser Jonas Talbot is reportedly wandering the coastal…

3 years ago

How, I Dunno, the Fuckin Numa Numa Guy Led to the Formation of the Alt-Right

As the world plunges into the depths of irreversible climate change, protests against police violence break out across our country,…

3 years ago