Jeremy Kaplowitz

HBO Changes Slogan to “It’s Not TV, It’s — Oops! Something Went Wrong. Try Restarting Your HBO Max App”

NEW YORK — Cable television network HBO announced today that they are changing their longtime slogan from “It’s not TV,…

3 years ago

Matt Damon Announces He Sees Now That Using the “F-Slur” Is “Gay”

LOS ANGELES — Actor Matt Damon took to social media today to apologize for his use of the homophobic f-slur…

3 years ago

New Service Lets You Rent Funny Guy for Your Group Chats

NEW YORK — A new startup based in Manhattan called Chat Rat lets people rent a funny guy to join…

3 years ago

Falco Lombardi Still Kinda Bitter That Mario Is Nintendo’s Flagship Italian

CORNERIA — Local ace pilot of the Star Fox team Falco Lombardi is reportedly annoyed that Nintendo still sees Mushroom…

3 years ago

Dumbass Smash Bros Crowd Cheering for Character Who Just Died

BATTLEFIELD — The unseen crowd watching Roy and Ganondorf battle it out on the floating platforms known as Battlefield were…

3 years ago

Editorial: Jeff Bezos Has Purchased Our Website and, Unrelated, Has Anyone Noticed He’s Super Hot?

We have exciting news here at Hard Drive! Following in the footsteps of great newspapers before us like the Washington…

3 years ago

HBO Funds New Cult to Film Documentary Miniseries About

NEW YORK — Cable television network HBO funded a new cult called The People’s Messiah in order to film a…

3 years ago

Dominatrix Anime Available Exclusively With Subs

TOKYO — A new Japanese anime show titled Whip It: The Dominatrix Tale has ended it’s first season and will…

3 years ago

Bobby Kotick Announces New Apology Letters Will Be Written by Alternating Teams at Treyarch and Infinity Ward Each Year for Foreseeable Future

SANTA MONICA, Calif. — Following a massive employee strike at Activision Blizzard due to years of harsh treatment and sexual…

3 years ago