Jeremy Kaplowitz

Jeremy Kaplowitz

Sakurai Secures Sora for Smash in Exchange for First Born Son to DisneySakurai Secures Sora for Smash in Exchange for First Born Son to Disney

Sakurai Secures Sora for Smash in Exchange for First Born Son to Disney

KYOTO, Japan — Super Smash Bros. creator Masahiro Sakurai confirmed today in a special Direct video that Kingdom Hearts protagonist…

4 years ago
Facebook Down as Mark Zuckerberg Leaves for New JobFacebook Down as Mark Zuckerberg Leaves for New Job

Facebook Down as Mark Zuckerberg Leaves for New Job

MENLO PARK, Calif. — Facebook and Instagram servers were both down today following rumors that CEO Mark Zuckerberg is vacating…

4 years ago
Man Camping Alone Deep in the Woods Hears Discord Notification BleepMan Camping Alone Deep in the Woods Hears Discord Notification Bleep

Man Camping Alone Deep in the Woods Hears Discord Notification Bleep

DENALI BOROUGH, Alaska — Local man Tauren Schneider reportedly heard a discord notification sound while camping alone deep in the…

4 years ago
BREAKING: Comedian Andy Kaufman Has Died From COVID-19 at Age 72BREAKING: Comedian Andy Kaufman Has Died From COVID-19 at Age 72

BREAKING: Comedian Andy Kaufman Has Died From COVID-19 at Age 72

LOS ANGELES — Beloved comedian, actor, and wrestler Andy Kaufman passed away in his home today at 72 after contracting…

4 years ago
There It Is: Steve From Blue’s Clues Releases Second Video Asking for Just a Few Thousand Dollars to Get His New Business Off the GroundThere It Is: Steve From Blue’s Clues Releases Second Video Asking for Just a Few Thousand Dollars to Get His New Business Off the Ground

There It Is: Steve From Blue’s Clues Releases Second Video Asking for Just Few Thousand Dollars to Get His New Business Off the Ground

NEW YORK — After warming the hearts of America, former Blue’s Clues host Steve Burns released a second video asking…

4 years ago
Sony Promises Spider-Man 2 Will Really Make You Feel Like Paying $500 for PS5Sony Promises Spider-Man 2 Will Really Make You Feel Like Paying $500 for PS5

Sony Promises Spider-Man 2 Will Really Make You Feel Like Paying $500 for PS5

NEW YORK — Representatives from Sony promised today in their PlayStation Showcase that Spider-Man 2 really makes players feel like…

4 years ago
Taliban Leaders Demand United States “Let People Enjoy Things”Taliban Leaders Demand United States “Let People Enjoy Things”

Taliban Leaders Demand United States “Let People Enjoy Things”

KABUL, Afghanistan — Taliban officials controlling Afghanistan have sent out a demand to the United States that the nation should…

4 years ago
Michael Caine Sick of Explaining Shit to Christopher NolanMichael Caine Sick of Explaining Shit to Christopher Nolan

Michael Caine Sick of Explaining Shit to Christopher Nolan

LOS ANGELES — Actor Michael Caine is reportedly sick of director Christopher Nolan constantly calling him up to ask him…

4 years ago
“Ugh, Got Queued Up With Another Round of Bots,” Says Squad Crushing You in FPS“Ugh, Got Queued Up With Another Round of Bots,” Says Squad Crushing You in FPS

“Ugh, Got Queued Up With Another Round of Bots,” Says Squad Crushing You in FPS

BUFFALO, N.Y. — A local Splitgate squad was reportedly disappointed to be playing against a group of bots while crushing…

4 years ago