Jeremy Kaplowitz

Opinion: If You’re Supervillain, Cut It Out

Supervillains — those with great power who use it for nefarious purposes — need a stern talking to. It’s time…

5 years ago

Community Applauds at 3 a.m. Every Day to Celebrate Gaming Heroes Who Don’t Go Outside

NEW YORK — The residents of New York City have begun applauding out their windows every single day at three…

5 years ago

Tom Hooper Suggests Re-Releasing ‘Cats’ After Shutdown Because It Seems Like Everyone Was Busy When It Came Out or Something

LOS ANGELES — Cats director Tom Hooper suggested on social media today that theaters could re-release Cats once the quarantine…

5 years ago

Terrifying: This Writer Is Willing to Hate Any Movie for Just Few Thousand Clicks

Most writers like movies that are good and dislike movies that are bad, letting the internet decide who deserves the…

5 years ago

Fans Disappointed to Discover It Was Actually Daniel Radcliffe Who Visited That Girl’s Animal Crossing Island

NEW HORIZONS — Fans worldwide were disappointed to discover that the celebrity who visited someone’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons island…

5 years ago

North Korea’s Mom Demands Little Sister Gets Turn as Dictator

PYONGYANG — North Korea’s mother has demanded that Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un give his little sister Kim Yo-jong a turn…

5 years ago

NYC Resident Plays Spider-Man Just to Remember What It Was Like to Walk Around

NEW YORK — Quarantined Manhattan resident Jesse Whittle is reportedly replaying Spider-Man on the PlayStation 4 just to remember what…

5 years ago

Mario Can’t Get Resume Under 10 Pages

MUSHROOM KINGDOM — Local Brooklynite Mario Mario was reportedly unable to get his resume under 10 pages following a bout…

5 years ago

Jim Carrey Seen Wearing Mask to Get Groceries

LOS ANGELES — In an effort to prevent the spread of coronavirus to those in a local Trader Joe’s, actor…

5 years ago