Jeremy Kaplowitz

Activision Announces New ‘Star Wars’ Game

SANTA MONICA — Activision revealed a new ‘Star Wars’ video game today entitled Call of Duty: Black Ops Cold War,…

4 years ago

Images From 343’s ‘Super Mario 64 Anniversary’ Leaked and It Looks Incredible

Holy shit you guys. Apparently 343, the company known for making the Halo games after Bungie moved on to Destiny,…

4 years ago

Ocasio-Cortez Given Speedrun Slot at DNC

MILWAUKEE — The Democratic National Committee has granted Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez a “speedrun” slot at tonight’s convention to show off…

4 years ago

John Hodgman Beats the Shit Out of Justin Long in New Fortnite Video

LOS ANGELES — Epic Games has furthered their legal battle with Apple by releasing a video featuring John Hodgman and…

4 years ago

Olimar Insists Red Pikmin are “Virtually Immune” to Drowning

PNF-404 — Captain Olimar insisted to a group of red Pikmin today that they need not worry while trying to…

4 years ago

Number of Video Games Worldwide Hits Record High

WASHINGTON — Experts have released a troubling new report that the number of video games worldwide has hit a record…

4 years ago

New Call of Duty Game Imagines What If Russia Attacked Own Civilians in Fictional City of PФЯҬLДИD

SANTA MONICA, Calif. — Activision announced that the next game in the Call of Duty franchise, Call of Duty: Uprising,…

4 years ago

Girlfriend Has No Idea Sex Playlist Is Just Old School RuneScape Soundtrack

PHOENIX — Local girlfriend Marissa Andrews is reportedly unaware that the playlist her boyfriend put on during sex last week…

4 years ago

Gamers Furious as ‘Hard Drive Magazine’ Introduces Microtransactions

NEW YORK — Gamers are furious worldwide after popular video game website Hard Drive introduced microtransactions, making exclusive articles available…

4 years ago