Jeremy Kaplowitz

Man Worried He’ll Never Find Open World Game as Good as Her

ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Local gamer Joe Fleming is reportedly worried that Nintendo’s stunning masterpiece Breath of the Wild has ruined…

4 years ago

Size Queen Purchases PS5

NEW YORK — Local size queen Sasha Carter reportedly purchased a PlayStation 5, the only console large enough to satisfy…

4 years ago

Review: ‘Assassin’s Creed Valhalla’ Brilliantly Uses Viking Lore to Tell Story of Fatherh—OK I’m Realizing Now I’m Playing ‘God of War’

Assassin’s Creed Valhalla, Ubisoft’s brilliant new adventure in gaming that lets you take on the life of a powerful viking,…

4 years ago

Editorial: If You Think About It, All This Is Like Video Games, Really

There are a lot of crazy things going on in the world these days. Biden has defeated Trump in the…

4 years ago

Republicans Try to Decipher “Haha Just Chillin” After QAnon Accidentally Posts on Wrong Account

WASHINGTON — Republicans nationwide are struggling to decipher a cryptic message from Q, the anonymous leader of conspiracy theory QAnon,…

4 years ago

Loving Couple Looking to Adopt New TV Show

ANCHORAGE, Ala. — Local couple Alice and Mark Holland are reportedly looking to adopt a new television, bringing it into…

4 years ago

Jeffrey Toobin Announces He Failed ‘No Nut November’

NEW YORK — New Yorker reporter Jeffrey Toobin announced on social media today that he failed the viral internet challenge…

4 years ago

Guy Writing In “Waluigi” for President Doesn’t Actually Want Waluigi to Be President

ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Local voter Martin Frost does not actually want video game character Waluigi to be president, despite writing…

4 years ago

Anonymous ‘Cyberpunk 2077’ Contractor Reveals Intense Crunch Culture Made Him Say “Whoa”

LOS ANGELES — An anonymous whistleblower working on Cyberpunk 2077 with CD Projekt Red has revealed a pattern of intense…

4 years ago