Jeremy Kaplowitz

‘Hades’ Video Game Inexplicably Wins TIME’s 2020 Person of the Year

NEW YORK — TIME Magazine has shocked the world, announcing today that their 2020 Person of the Year is inexplicably…

4 years ago

Cyberpunk 2077 Runs Great When Injected Into Your Brain With Large Syringe, But This Is No Indicator for Console

WARSAW — Early reviews of CD Projekt Red’s Cyberpunk 2077 have made notes to specify that the game runs incredibly…

4 years ago

Dead Filmmaker Discovers Purgatory Actually Not Boring and Confusing At All

PURGATORY — Recently deceased filmmaker Robert Howells was shocked to discover that purgatory, the period of waiting between life and…

4 years ago

Studio Executives Encourage ‘Metal Gear Solid’ Director to Take No Inspiration From Games

LOS ANGELES — Sony Pictures executives have reportedly encouraged Metal Gear Solid director Jordan Vogt-Roberts to feel free to go…

4 years ago

Alex Honnold Completes First Free Solo Ascent of PS5

YOSEMITE, Calif. — Rock climber Alex Honnold has shocked both the athletic and gaming worlds by completing the first free…

4 years ago

New Star Wars Character Actually From Some Book

ATLANTA — A new character mentioned in the latest episode of Disney+ show The Mandalorian is reportedly actually from a…

4 years ago

Phoenix Wright Ruins Another Wedding

LOS ANGELES — Veteran defense attorney Phoenix Wright has ruined yet another wedding by yelling “OBJECTION!” after the judge said…

4 years ago

COVID-19 Gears Up for Another Double-XP Weekend

ATLANTA — Scientists at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention have confirmed that the COVID-19 virus is gearing up…

4 years ago

Cyberpunk 2077 Still Won’t Let Fans Customize How Many Hours Their Devs Work Week

WARSAW — Fans of CD Projekt Red’s upcoming Cyberpunk 2077 are upset at the level of character customization, citing that…

4 years ago