Jeremy Kaplowitz

Hayao Miyazaki Hospitalized After Son Announces New 4D Smell-O-Vision Film

TOKYO — Legendary filmmaker Hayao Miyazaki has been hospitalized as a result of his son Gorō Miyazaki announcing that his…

4 years ago

Mass Effect Devs Compromise With Angry Gamers by Giving Commander Shepard Gigantic, Juicy Balls

EDMONTON — BioWare has announced a compromise for Mass Effect fans upset about the removal of various butt shots in…

4 years ago

Why We’re Replacing Review Scores With Photo of Either an Approving or Disapproving Parent

As any self-respecting video game review reader knows, reviewing video games is really hard work and nothing hurts more than…

4 years ago

Sony Accidentally Vaporizes Demonstrator in Showcase of PS5’s Technical Power

NEW YORK — CEO of Sony Interactive Entertainment Jim Ryan accidentally vaporized intern Kris Smythe in a livestream demonstration of…

4 years ago

Guy Afraid to Tell Coworkers His Salary Because He’s Paid in Trident Layers Gum

BUFFALO, N.Y. — Local accountant Owen Yates is reportedly afraid to reveal his salary to his coworkers because of the…

4 years ago

Porn Parody ‘Girls Done Quick’ Not Particularly Popular

LOS ANGELES — Girls Done Quick, a new livestreamed porn parody of the hit video game convention Games Done Quick…

4 years ago

Redditor Accidentally Invests Life Savings in GameSpot

SAN FRANCISCO — Local redditor Nelson Briggs has reportedly invested his entire life savings into video game news website GameSpot,…

4 years ago

Beware: If We Make Minimum Wage $15 Then People Won’t Need Two Jobs, Meaning They’ll Have Leisure Time, Meaning There Will Be More Gamers

The national debate over minimum wage has raged on in the United States ever since President Biden made it an…

4 years ago

Oh No: They Removed Donald Trump From Home Alone 2 But Accidentally Replaced Him With Pol Pot

Alright so we have some very good news and some very bad news. Let’s just… let’s start with the good…

4 years ago