Jeremy Kaplowitz

Sonic and Mario Olympic Games Also Hotbed for Sex Between Athletes

TOKYO — New reports from within the Sonic and Mario version of the Summer Olympics have revealed today that this…

3 years ago

Doctors Discover Conclusive Link Between Looking Around at Everything and Anxiety

NEW YORK — A team of doctors at New York University have conducted a study that revealed conclusive proof that…

3 years ago

Sopranos Prequel Movie Still Includes Scene With Batman’s Parents Being Murdered

NEW YORK — HBO has confirmed that the Sopranos prequel film The Many Saints of Newark, coming out October 1,…

3 years ago

This Pokémon Fan Game Is Terrific and It’s Damn Shame We Just Told You Because Now Nintendo Knows

Have you ever wanted to play a Pokémon game that had every single Pokémon in it? And the option to…

3 years ago

Universal Confirms ‘COVID-19’ Will Join the Family in Fast & Furious 10 After Being Villain of F9

UNIVERSAL CITY, Calif. — Universal Pictures has confirmed that the 10th film in the “Fast Saga” will prominently feature the…

3 years ago

Kotaku Headline Trying Little Too Hard to Be Your Friend

NEW YORK — A new headline on the video game website Kotaku about an upcoming video game delay is reportedly…

3 years ago

6 Must-Have Gaming Accessories That Just Happen to All Be Sold by Our Parent Company

Playing video games with the top-of-the-line technology can be really expensive, but it’s 100% worth every penny of your hard…

3 years ago

Danny Ocean Hires Team of Criminal Specialists to Break Into Blizzard Account Made Under His Old Email Address

LAS VEGAS — Master heist organizer Danny Ocean has reportedly gathered a team of top criminals, acrobats, and smooth talkers…

3 years ago

Man Rereading ‘A Song of Ice and Fire’ to Prepare for Release of Book 6 Worried His One-Page-a-Day Pace Too Fast

ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Local fantasy fan Geoffrey Parsons is reportedly worried that his A Song of Ice and Fire reread,…

3 years ago