JD Lowe

JD Lowe

Shigeru Miyamoto Delays Orgasm for Quality PurposesShigeru Miyamoto Delays Orgasm for Quality Purposes

Shigeru Miyamoto Delays Orgasm for Quality Purposes

KYOTO, Japan — Shigeru Miyamoto announced today that in order to make sure he lives up to his highest standards,…

5 years ago
CDC Warns Americans Against Touching Mario’s Face In ‘Super Mario 64’CDC Warns Americans Against Touching Mario’s Face In ‘Super Mario 64’

CDC Warns Americans Against Touching Mario’s Face In ‘Super Mario 64’

ATLANTA — The Center for Disease Control and Prevention held a press conference today explaining in detail the health risks…

5 years ago
Boss Catches Employee in Idle Animation for Fifth Time This WeekBoss Catches Employee in Idle Animation for Fifth Time This Week

Boss Catches Employee in Idle Animation for Fifth Time This Week

KALAMAZOO, Mich. — Employees at a local marketing agency have confirmed that IT support technician Sye Monteleone was given his…

5 years ago
Exhausted Parents Admit Newborn Didn’t Really Get Good Until Season 4Exhausted Parents Admit Newborn Didn’t Really Get Good Until Season 4

Exhausted Parents Admit Newborn Didn’t Really Get Good Until Season 4

COLONIAL HEIGHTS, Va. — Parents Pat and Misty Santohir reportedly told friends that, while they did not regret having their…

5 years ago
Hundreds Bonded in Power of Friendship Reactor MeltdownHundreds Bonded in Power of Friendship Reactor Meltdown

Hundreds Bonded in Power of Friendship Reactor Meltdown

SACRAMENTO, Calif. — A calibration error led to the devastating meltdown of a local Power of Friendship Reactor this morning…

6 years ago
Corruption of PS2 Memory Card Not Unlike Burning of the Library of AlexandriaCorruption of PS2 Memory Card Not Unlike Burning of the Library of Alexandria

Corruption of PS2 Memory Card Not Unlike Burning of the Library of Alexandria

AKRON, Ohio — Local gamer Scott Landis’s languish was felt throughout the apartment upon his discovery that his PlayStation 2…

6 years ago
Jackbox Party Pack 6 to Include New Game ‘Just Draw a Penis‘Jackbox Party Pack 6 to Include New Game ‘Just Draw a Penis‘

Jackbox Party Pack 6 to Include New Game ‘Just Draw Penis‘

CHICAGO — Jackbox Games revealed that “Just Draw a Penis” will be one of five new games that will be…

6 years ago