JD Lowe

Shigeru Miyamoto Delays Orgasm for Quality Purposes

KYOTO, Japan — Shigeru Miyamoto announced today that in order to make sure he lives up to his highest standards,…

4 years ago

CDC Warns Americans Against Touching Mario’s Face In ‘Super Mario 64’

ATLANTA — The Center for Disease Control and Prevention held a press conference today explaining in detail the health risks…

5 years ago

Boss Catches Employee in Idle Animation for Fifth Time This Week

KALAMAZOO, Mich. — Employees at a local marketing agency have confirmed that IT support technician Sye Monteleone was given his…

5 years ago

Exhausted Parents Admit Newborn Didn’t Really Get Good Until Season 4

COLONIAL HEIGHTS, Va. — Parents Pat and Misty Santohir reportedly told friends that, while they did not regret having their…

5 years ago

Hundreds Bonded in Power of Friendship Reactor Meltdown

SACRAMENTO, Calif. — A calibration error led to the devastating meltdown of a local Power of Friendship Reactor this morning…

5 years ago

Corruption of PS2 Memory Card Not Unlike Burning of the Library of Alexandria

AKRON, Ohio — Local gamer Scott Landis’s languish was felt throughout the apartment upon his discovery that his PlayStation 2…

5 years ago

Jackbox Party Pack 6 to Include New Game ‘Just Draw Penis‘

CHICAGO — Jackbox Games revealed that “Just Draw a Penis” will be one of five new games that will be…

5 years ago