James Webster

Datamine Reveals ‘Bloodborne’ Nurses Seething Hatred for You Specifically

NEW YORK — Hackers researching the internal files of cult hit action-RPG Bloodborne have made a startling and unprecedented discovery:…

3 years ago

Backyard Baseball Season Called Off After Pablo Tests Positive for COVID-19

ERNIE’S HOUSE — A positive COVID test for league superstar Pablo Sanchez has resulted in the entire 2021-22 Backyard Baseball…

3 years ago

New JK Rowling Novel Written Entirely in 4chan Greentext

LONDON — Best-selling author JK Rowling announced today that her new novel Troubled Blood will be published anonymously, written entirely…

4 years ago

CDC Recommends All Americans Keep Audio Logs During Pandemic for Future Protagonists to Stumble Upon

WASHINGTON — At a press conference this afternoon, CDC Director Robert Redfield urged all American citizens to begin keeping audio…

5 years ago

Tragic: Distant Aliens Just Now Receiving Radio Waves of Bad Simpsons Episodes

WASHINGTON — Astrophysicists from the NASA confirmed that radio waves of the bad The Simpsons seasons are beginning to reach…

6 years ago

Hard Drive Patch 1.4.0. Released

Hello everyone, and welcome to Hard Drive, Version 1.4.0.! First of all, we would like to thank everyone for enjoying…

6 years ago