Ian Kitchen

Ian Kitchen

Game Critic Describes New Stapler as ‘Positively Oozing With Charm’Game Critic Describes New Stapler as ‘Positively Oozing With Charm’

Game Critic Describes New Stapler as ‘Positively Oozing With Charm’

SAN FRANCISCO —  IGN game critic Michael Sherman has reportedly cracked under the pressure of his job and issued a…

5 years ago
Review: ‘Luigi’s Mansion 3’ Serves Up Spooky Scares If You’re a Fucking IdiotReview: ‘Luigi’s Mansion 3’ Serves Up Spooky Scares If You’re a Fucking Idiot

Review: ‘Luigi’s Mansion 3’ Serves Up Spooky Scares If You’re Fucking Idiot

Nintendo released Luigi’s Mansion 3 for Switch just in time for Halloween; too bad it’s not fucking scary at all,…

6 years ago
Whistleblower Now in World 8Whistleblower Now in World 8

Whistleblower Now in World 8

WASHINGTON — The whistleblower responsible for filing the complaint that President Donald Trump requested an investigation of Joe Biden from…

6 years ago
Brave: Pierce Brosnan Leaves House in DK ModeBrave: Pierce Brosnan Leaves House in DK Mode

Brave: Pierce Brosnan Leaves House in DK Mode

MALIBU, Calif.  — In an act of radical body positivity being praised by fans online, James Bond actor Pierce Brosnan…

6 years ago
Nintendo Executes Reggie Fils-Aimé’s Mii in Standard Retirement ProcedureNintendo Executes Reggie Fils-Aimé’s Mii in Standard Retirement Procedure

Nintendo Executes Reggie Fils-Aimé’s Mii in Standard Retirement Procedure

REDMOND, Wash.  — Reggie Fils-Aimé has made his final tearful goodbye from Nintendo after 16 years today, and as part…

6 years ago
Man Arrested for Comic MischiefMan Arrested for Comic Mischief

Man Arrested for Comic Mischief

BUFFALO, N.Y.  — After a night of allegedly bawdy behavior, Jason “Buzzly” Godrich was detained early this morning by Buffalo…

6 years ago
Nintendo Lets Terminally Ill Fan Work 14 Hour Days Coding New GameNintendo Lets Terminally Ill Fan Work 14 Hour Days Coding New Game

Nintendo Lets Terminally Ill Fan Work 14 Hour Days Coding New Game

KYOTO, Japan  —  In an incredibly gracious move, Nintendo has granted a terminally ill fan’s last wish of appearing in…

7 years ago
Lonely Man Speedruns CalzoneLonely Man Speedruns Calzone

Lonely Man Speedruns Calzone

BROOKLYN, N.Y. —  Displaying remarkable skill and reflexes, Brett Echelson livestreamed a complete speedrun of a calzone from his neighborhood…

7 years ago
Water in Shitty New Game Looks BeautifulWater in Shitty New Game Looks Beautiful

Water in Shitty New Game Looks Beautiful

AUSTIN — Early reviews are indicating that “Adventures of Slappy,” a newly released action/adventure game, has horrible controls, ugly characters,…

7 years ago