Ian Kitchen

Game Critic Describes New Stapler as ‘Positively Oozing With Charm’

SAN FRANCISCO —  IGN game critic Michael Sherman has reportedly cracked under the pressure of his job and issued a…

5 years ago

Review: ‘Luigi’s Mansion 3’ Serves Up Spooky Scares If You’re Fucking Idiot

Nintendo released Luigi’s Mansion 3 for Switch just in time for Halloween; too bad it’s not fucking scary at all,…

5 years ago

Whistleblower Now in World 8

WASHINGTON — The whistleblower responsible for filing the complaint that President Donald Trump requested an investigation of Joe Biden from…

5 years ago

Brave: Pierce Brosnan Leaves House in DK Mode

MALIBU, Calif.  — In an act of radical body positivity being praised by fans online, James Bond actor Pierce Brosnan…

6 years ago

Nintendo Executes Reggie Fils-Aimé’s Mii in Standard Retirement Procedure

REDMOND, Wash.  — Reggie Fils-Aimé has made his final tearful goodbye from Nintendo after 16 years today, and as part…

6 years ago

Man Arrested for Comic Mischief

BUFFALO, N.Y.  — After a night of allegedly bawdy behavior, Jason “Buzzly” Godrich was detained early this morning by Buffalo…

6 years ago

Nintendo Lets Terminally Ill Fan Work 14 Hour Days Coding New Game

KYOTO, Japan  —  In an incredibly gracious move, Nintendo has granted a terminally ill fan’s last wish of appearing in…

6 years ago

Lonely Man Speedruns Calzone

BROOKLYN, N.Y. —  Displaying remarkable skill and reflexes, Brett Echelson livestreamed a complete speedrun of a calzone from his neighborhood…

6 years ago

Water in Shitty New Game Looks Beautiful

AUSTIN — Early reviews are indicating that “Adventures of Slappy,” a newly released action/adventure game, has horrible controls, ugly characters,…

7 years ago