Grant Mulitz

Grant Mulitz

Villager Warns Children About Spooky House No One Has Left in 11 MonthsVillager Warns Children About Spooky House No One Has Left in 11 Months

Villager Warns Children About Spooky House No One Has Left in 11 Months

DESERTED ISLAND — Shaking as he described the terrors that might lie inside, local island resident Lobo warned a group…

4 years ago
Development Hell: 12 Years After Trailer, Still No Word When IGN’s ‘Legend of Zelda’ Live Action Movie Will ReleaseDevelopment Hell: 12 Years After Trailer, Still No Word When IGN’s ‘Legend of Zelda’ Live Action Movie Will Release

Development Hell: 12 Years After Trailer, Still No Word When IGN’s ‘Legend of Zelda’ Live Action Movie Will Release

SAN FRANCISCO — After years of mis-management and a revolving door of directors and producers, IGN’s much-anticipated live-action film adaptation…

5 years ago
Sleep Study Finds 40% Of People Produce Giant Inflating Snot Bubble During REM CycleSleep Study Finds 40% Of People Produce Giant Inflating Snot Bubble During REM Cycle

Sleep Study Finds 40% Of People Produce Giant Inflating Snot Bubble During REM Cycle

SANTA CRUZ, Calif. — Noting a breakthrough in our understanding of human sleep behaviors, researchers at U.C. Santa Cruz have…

5 years ago
Every Star Wars Easter Egg You Missed in My ApartmentEvery Star Wars Easter Egg You Missed in My Apartment

Every Star Wars Easter Egg You Missed in My Apartment

Filled with action, drama and just the right peppering of comedy, last night’s party at my place was by far…

5 years ago
Parents Blame Poorly-Made Video Games For Son’s Annoying, Glitchy OutburstsParents Blame Poorly-Made Video Games For Son’s Annoying, Glitchy Outbursts

Parents Blame Poorly-Made Video Games For Son’s Annoying, Glitchy Outbursts

TRENTON, N.J. — Claiming their child hasn’t been the same since he started gaming, concerned parents Mark and Liza Kristensen…

5 years ago
Firefly Fan Also CanceledFirefly Fan Also Canceled

Firefly Fan Also Canceled

DALLAS — Following rumors that one of Joss Whedon’s most beloved and unabashedly racist admirers would soon be scrapped from…

5 years ago
Proto Man Reveals That, While Arm Cannon Nice, He Would Give Anything to Have Left Hand BackProto Man Reveals That, While Arm Cannon Nice, He Would Give Anything to Have Left Hand Back

Proto Man Reveals That, While Arm Cannon Nice, He Would Give Anything to Have Left Hand Back

DR. LIGHT’S LAB — Saying he feels blessed at the technology yet wistful for his bygone appendage, local robot hero…

5 years ago
The 5 Best Gaming Headsets For Just Listening to a Nice Audiobook Once In a WhileThe 5 Best Gaming Headsets For Just Listening to a Nice Audiobook Once In a While

The 5 Best Gaming Headsets For Just Listening to Nice Audiobook Once In a While

Whether you’re a Twitch star or a casual solo player, an absolute essential for any gamer is a reliable pair…

5 years ago
Psychic Beats Shit Out of Man Counting Tarot CardsPsychic Beats Shit Out of Man Counting Tarot Cards

Psychic Beats Shit Out of Man Counting Tarot Cards

MIAMI — Claiming her client was clearly cheating the fates, local psychic Madame LeMystique beat the shit out of her…

5 years ago