October 18, 2020 Cockroaches Thank Homeowner for New Luxury High-Rise Cockroaches Thank Homeowner for New Luxury High-Rise BROOKLYN, N.Y. — One day after setting up her new Xbox Series X, local homeowner Maya Cruz received a letter from all of the cockroaches…
October 16, 2020 Can You Violate the Geneva Conventions in Call of Duty: Black Ops Cold War, Hitman, and Blaseball? Can You Violate the Geneva Conventions in Call of Duty: Black Ops Cold War, Hitman, and Blaseball? A new era is upon us. This year, a new generation of consoles will come into our homes, bringing us more realistic gaming experiences than…
October 16, 2020 Gamer Downloads Hot New Multiplayer Game Just in Time for Friends to Move On Gamer Downloads Hot New Multiplayer Game Just in Time for Friends to Move On BANGOR, Maine — Local gamer Ned Price finally downloaded a multiplayer game his friends have been playing nonstop for weeks, only to discover that they’ve…
October 15, 2020 Roguelike Fan Also Starts Each New Day With Nothing Roguelike Fan Also Starts Each New Day With Nothing ANKENY, Iowa — Unemployed and recently single roguelike enthusiast Daryl Cain says that he feels a strong connection to the genre, because he also starts…
September 22, 2020 Dad Getting Tired of Cleaning Rupees Out of Lawnmower Dad Getting Tired of Cleaning Rupees Out of Lawnmower BEAVERCREEK, Ohio — Local father Stu Campbell is reportedly fed up with having to clean hundreds of rupees out of his lawnmower every time he…
September 21, 2020 Nintendo in Panic Mode After Microsoft Acquires Luigi Nintendo in Panic Mode After Microsoft Acquires Luigi KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo has reportedly entered a full state of panic with executives blindsided after Microsoft announced that it had acquired Luigi. “How is…
September 16, 2020 Nintendo Sends DMCA Takedown to Nintendo for Emulating Mario Games Nintendo Sends DMCA Takedown to Nintendo for Emulating Mario Games KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo has issued a DMCA takedown to Nintendo, threatening to press legal action if the studio doesn’t remove its fan emulation project,…
August 28, 2020 Amateur Boxer TKO’s Heavyweight Champion After Multiple Jabs to His Great Big Belly Amateur Boxer TKO’s Heavyweight Champion After Multiple Jabs to His Great Big Belly LAS VEGAS — Amateur boxer Mackenzie Smalls is making waves after knocking out heavyweight champion Kingsly Ippolito with a flurry of punches to his big…
August 27, 2020 Call of Duty: Black Ops Cold War Lobby Just Two Opposing Teams Threatening to Start Match Call of Duty: Black Ops Cold War Lobby Just Two Opposing Teams Threatening to Start Match RICHMOND, Va. — Players have been waiting for a multiplayer round of Call of Duty: Black Ops Cold War to start for the past 12…
