Giovanni Colantonio

Obnoxious Cinephile Won’t Stop Clapping at the End of Every Annapurna Game

LOS ANGELES — Self-proclaimed cinephile Jordan Akerman, who had previously sworn off games as a lowbrow form of art, is…

5 years ago

Crash Bandicoot Fans Demand Aku Aku Voice Actor Be Recast With Someone Who Is Whatever Race He’s Supposed to Be

SANTA MONICA, Calif. — Thousands of Crash Bandicoot fans have signed an online petition demanding that Naughty Dog recast the…

5 years ago

Quarantined Gamer Almost Desperate Enough to Start Anthem

NEW ROCHELLE, N.Y. — Local gamer Mindy Cunningham, currently in preventive self-quarantine due to the coronavirus outbreak, has become so…

5 years ago

GameStop Refuses to Close Doors Unless Local Authorities Sign Up for PowerUp Rewards

GRAPEVINE, Texas — GameStop has told all of its employees that they should not close stores during the COVID-19 pandemic…

5 years ago

Hideo Kojima Either Teasing Death Stranding Sequel Or Just Tweeting Photos Of Different Boxes He Likes

TOKYO — Hideo Kojima fans are obsessively looking for clues in the director’s latest string of cryptic tweets, which sources…

5 years ago

Super Smash Bros. Datamine Reveals That Coding Seems Really Complicated

TUCSON, Ariz. — A hacker has broken Super Smash Bros. Ultimate open and apparently revealed a host of new details…

5 years ago

Uncharted Movie Loses Another Director Due to Failed Ledge Grab

MALAYSIA — Production of the upcoming Uncharted movie adaptation has halted after the project lost yet another director, who plummeted…

5 years ago

J.J. Abrams Won’t Stop Telling Sandwich Guy at Bodega to ‘Surprise Him’

BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Staff at a local bodega have become increasingly frustrated with Star Wars director J.J. Abrams, who won’t…

5 years ago

Bob Iger Steps Down to Make Room for New Disney CEO Baby Iger

BURBANK, Calif. — Disney CEO Bob Iger made a surprise announcement this afternoon that he would be stepping down from…

5 years ago