GB Barnes

Forgotten Games Store App Works Up Courage to Open on Restarted Laptop

FRESNO, Calif. — Upon the accidental and abrupt restart of a laptop this morning, sources have confirmed that EA’s Origin…

3 years ago

Disgusting: Little Baby Bitch Boy Coward Gamer Brightens Horror Settings So Symbol Still Visible

PHILADELPHIA — Local game enthusiast and known little baby bitch boy Shawn Hughes began his playthrough of The Last of…

4 years ago

New Sesame Street Episode Brought to You by the Letters ACAB

NEW YORK — Breaking tradition with the usual format of having episodes sponsored by single letters, a bruised, exhausted-looking Big Bird…

4 years ago

White House Reporters Spam ‘A’ Button Through Entire Press Conference

WASHINGTON — A group of White House correspondents reportedly pressed the ‘A’ button frantically for the duration of President Donald…

5 years ago

New Leaf Villagers Draw Lots to Decide Who to Sacrifice to Ensure Good Harvest

STONEYVILLE— Animal residents from the quiet village of Stoneyville gathered in the town square to participate in the annual ritual…

5 years ago

NOW HIRING: Rockstar Games Announces New Position to Walk Developers Once Day

Keen-eyed job hunters in the games industry have noticed a brand-new job listing on the Rockstar Games company website. The…

5 years ago

Report: White House Aides Did Not Brief Trump About Banjo-Kazooie for Smash

WASHINGTON — A White House staffer confirmed earlier this week that President Trump had not yet been briefed about Nintendo’s…

5 years ago

Committed, Loving, Adventurous Couple Seeking Third for ‘Apex Legends’ Squad

SAN FRANCISCO — Longtime partners Dylan Ellison and Crystal Watts recently reactivated their Tinder accounts and updated their profiles to…

5 years ago

Alabama Woman Who Criticized Daenerys’ Sudden Heel Turn Now Totally Gets It

MOBILE, Ala. — Local Game of Thrones fan Lauren Jacobs was reportedly vocal about her distaste for last week’s episode…

6 years ago