July 9, 2021 Forgotten Games Store App Works Up Courage to Open on Restarted Laptop Forgotten Games Store App Works Up Courage to Open on Restarted Laptop FRESNO, Calif. — Upon the accidental and abrupt restart of a laptop this morning, sources have confirmed that EA’s Origin game launcher client is currently…
July 8, 2020 Disgusting: Little Baby Bitch Boy Coward Gamer Brightens Horror Settings So Symbol Still Visible Disgusting: Little Baby Bitch Boy Coward Gamer Brightens Horror Settings So Symbol Still Visible PHILADELPHIA — Local game enthusiast and known little baby bitch boy Shawn Hughes began his playthrough of The Last of Us Part 2 Saturday, reportedly…
July 8, 2020 New Sesame Street Episode Brought to You by the Letters ACAB New Sesame Street Episode Brought to You by the Letters ACAB NEW YORK — Breaking tradition with the usual format of having episodes sponsored by single letters, a bruised, exhausted-looking Big Bird announced to viewers that week’s…
September 23, 2019 White House Reporters Spam ‘A’ Button Through Entire Press Conference White House Reporters Spam ‘A’ Button Through Entire Press Conference WASHINGTON — A group of White House correspondents reportedly pressed the ‘A’ button frantically for the duration of President Donald Trump’s press conference this morning,…
September 16, 2019 New Leaf Villagers Draw Lots to Decide Who to Sacrifice to Ensure Good Harvest New Leaf Villagers Draw Lots to Decide Who to Sacrifice to Ensure Good Harvest STONEYVILLE— Animal residents from the quiet village of Stoneyville gathered in the town square to participate in the annual ritual to decide who will be…
July 15, 2019 NOW HIRING: Rockstar Games Announces New Position to Walk Developers Once a Day NOW HIRING: Rockstar Games Announces New Position to Walk Developers Once a Day Keen-eyed job hunters in the games industry have noticed a brand-new job listing on the Rockstar Games company website. The award-winning studio responsible for beloved…
July 3, 2019 Report: White House Aides Did Not Brief Trump About Banjo-Kazooie for Smash Report: White House Aides Did Not Brief Trump About Banjo-Kazooie for Smash WASHINGTON — A White House staffer confirmed earlier this week that President Trump had not yet been briefed about Nintendo’s announcement that it would be…
July 2, 2019 Committed, Loving, Adventurous Couple Seeking Third for ‘Apex Legends’ Squad Committed, Loving, Adventurous Couple Seeking Third for ‘Apex Legends’ Squad SAN FRANCISCO — Longtime partners Dylan Ellison and Crystal Watts recently reactivated their Tinder accounts and updated their profiles to state that they were “seeking…
May 16, 2019 Alabama Woman Who Criticized Daenerys’ Sudden Heel Turn Now Totally Gets It Alabama Woman Who Criticized Daenerys’ Sudden Heel Turn Now Totally Gets It MOBILE, Ala. — Local Game of Thrones fan Lauren Jacobs was reportedly vocal about her distaste for last week’s episode in which Daenerys Targeryen suddenly…
