Naomi Krause

Magneto’s Credit Cards All Fucked Up

GENOSHA — Brotherhood of Mutants leader Magneto has vowed revenge on humanity for designing credit cards that are destroyed by…

4 years ago

Dad’s Insurance Only Covers Mad Catz Pacemaker

ARENA, Wis. — Local father Andrew Nikket has become the first ever recipient of a Mad Catz pacemaker this week,…

4 years ago

Local Middle Schooler Releases 2020 Dad Tier List

MAZOMANIE, Wis. — James K. Polk Jr. high school student Nick Epson released his hotly anticipated dad tier list of…

4 years ago

Indie Band Named After NES Game Also Plays Like Shit

BLACK EARTH, Wisc. — Local garage band The Cheetahmen has come under fire due to the fact that, much like…

5 years ago

Fighting Game Character With Fucking Gun Considered Low Tier

AKRON, Ohio — Due to a recent Injustice 2 patch, famed Batman foil the Joker, who’s ranged attack pulls out…

6 years ago

Real Life Fortnite: This Guy Built A Shitty House and Died In It

Think you’re Fortnite’s biggest fan? Think again. Epic Games superfan Andrew Rausch was so dedicated to the game, that he…

6 years ago

Blizzard Launches Restaurant With Shitty Servers

IRVINE, Calif. — Early reports coming from Blizzard Entertainment's newest venture, a newly opened downtown cafe, are indicating that the…

7 years ago

J.J. Abrams Caught Sneaking Cloverfield Stickers Onto Black Panther Posters

MADISON, Wisc. — Producer and director J.J. Abrams was arrested this past weekend for vandalizing a local theater’s Black Panther…

7 years ago

DayZ Now Accurate Simulation of World Where 99.9% of Population Has Died Off

PRAGUE, Czech Republic — DayZ, the post-apocalyptic zombie survival game, has reached new levels of authenticity as of late, with…

7 years ago