Eric Bailey

Mattress Store Offers Discount on Your Next Podcast Subscription

TINLEY PARK, Ill. — In an effort to drive more business from consumers who listen to lots of mattress advertisements…

3 years ago

‘Ship of Theseus’ DLC Changes So Much About Sea of Thieves That It Might Not Even Be the Same Game Anymore

TWYCROSS, England — Over the last week, Sea of Thieves developer Rare released a new “Ship of Theseus” DLC that…

5 years ago

Nintendo Executive Solemnly Reports Last N64 at Shitty McDonald’s Has Finally Stopped Working

KANKAKEE, Ill. — In a mid-afternoon press conference, Nintendo of America President Doug Bowser confirmed that the last Nintendo 64…

5 years ago

Gamer Mystified by Tinder’s Lack of Dialogue Options

SAN PEDRO, Calif. — Complaining that the app advertised an intricate choice-based system promising branching plotlines depending on the player’s…

6 years ago

Tolkien Biopic to Be Split Into, I Dunno, Six Films

HOLLYWOOD, Calif. — Executives at Fox Searchlight Pictures have revealed that the upcoming biographical film Tolkien, based on the life…

6 years ago

Blizzard Gives Employees Box With 8.3% Chance of Containing Pink Slip

IRVINE, Calif. — After a recent earnings report announced record revenue, Activision-Blizzard initiated layoffs by handing out boxes to its…

6 years ago