March 22, 2021 Organizers of Martial Arts Tournament Didn’t Say Anything About a Fucking Bear Organizers of Martial Arts Tournament Didn’t Say Anything About a Fucking Bear TOKYO — A former MMA champion officially withdrew from an international martial arts competition yesterday after a brutal mauling from a Japanese brown bear. “I…
November 24, 2020 Next Kingdom Hearts Game to Feature all the Racist Cats from ‘The Aristocats’ Next Kingdom Hearts Game to Feature all the Racist Cats from ‘The Aristocats’ TOKYO — In honor of the classic Disney film’s 50th anniversary, publisher Square-Enix announced in a press release today that the next installment of the…
November 9, 2020 Twitter User Cancels 20 Others Before Turning the Cancel on Himself Twitter User Cancels 20 Others Before Turning the Cancel on Himself LOS ANGELES — Local Twitter user Frederick Peterson, better known by his handle @freddiepeteyboy682, went on a tragic cancel spree early this morning, before turning…
September 21, 2020 Vast, Empty Field Elects New Mayor Vast, Empty Field Elects New Mayor NEWCITY02 — Voters have apparently grown tired of living in a featureless meadow, as a first-time runner has secured a landslide victory after repeated campaign…
