April 23, 2019 Greg Announces ‘Greg Now’ Streaming Service to Feature Exclusive Greg Content Greg Announces ‘Greg Now’ Streaming Service to Feature Exclusive Greg Content LOS ANGELES — At a packed press conference today in front of Grauman’s Theatre, Greg announced a new streaming service, Greg Now, that would serve…
April 22, 2019 Leather Jacket-Clad ‘Titanfall 2’ Knew You’d Come Crawling Back Leather Jacket-Clad ‘Titanfall 2’ Knew You’d Come Crawling Back LOS ANGELES — On the heels of the success of Apex Legends, thousands of players have returned to Respawn Entertainment’s previous title Titanfall 2, which…
April 18, 2019 Gaming Comedy Podcast Now Two Solid Hours of Incomprehensible Inside Jokes Gaming Comedy Podcast Now Two Solid Hours of Incomprehensible Inside Jokes BOTHELL, Wash. — Skip Cutscene, a gaming podcast hosted by somewhere between two and eight men, as well as one woman, released its first episode…
March 13, 2019 Olimar Running Out of Tiny Coffins Olimar Running Out of Tiny Coffins DISTANT PLANET — At this week’s mass funeral of some 614 Pikmin, Captain Olimar of the Hocotate Freight Corporation came to the saddening realization that…
March 12, 2019 USC’s Overwatch Team Made Up Entirely of Useless Children of Celebrities USC’s Overwatch Team Made Up Entirely of Useless Children of Celebrities LOS ANGELES — It has come to light that USC’s Overwatch team is made up entirely of the children of celebrities following the bombshell revelation…
February 28, 2019 Opinion: Missile Upgrade Better Be Worth All This Bullshit Opinion: Missile Upgrade Better Be Worth All This Bullshit It’s been a week now that I’ve been stranded here on planet QV9978 and I’m up to my eyeballs in bullshit. Supplies are running low,…
February 27, 2019 Game Freak Unveils New Line-Up of Pokémon for You to Be Upset About, Old Man Game Freak Unveils New Line-Up of Pokémon for You to Be Upset About, Old Man TOKYO — During a seven minute long press conference this morning, Game Freak, the makers of the popular Pokémon series of games, offered the first look…
January 24, 2019 Man Spends 15-Minutes Assuring Date He’s a Fan of Nerd Thing But Not Weird About It Man Spends 15-Minutes Assuring Date He’s a Fan of Nerd Thing But Not Weird About It EAST PALO ALTO, Calif. — While on a lunch date at Three Brothers Tacos, local nerd John Davis took a conversational detour to explain that…
January 10, 2019 Opinion: My Son is Overpowered and Needs to be Nerfed Opinion: My Son is Overpowered and Needs to be Nerfed I have liked my son ever since he came out 18 years ago, and I’ve been competitive on the parent ladder for all of those…
