July 20, 2021 Worried College Student Calls University Health Services After Roommate Returns With Multiple JRPGs Worried College Student Calls University Health Services After Roommate Returns With Multiple JRPGs COLUMBIA, Miss. — Noah Marquez, a sophomore at Missouri University, reportedly called the university health center after discovering that his roommate Leon Collier had come…
July 30, 2020 Citizens of Rapture Unsure Where to Put Torn Down Andrew Ryan Statue Citizens of Rapture Unsure Where to Put Torn Down Andrew Ryan Statue RAPTURE — Confusion reigned in the underwater metropolis of Rapture today after residents tore down the imposing statue of patriarch Andrew Ryan at the entrance…
June 22, 2020 Luigi Loses Left Eye In Collision With Rubber Bullet Bill Luigi Loses Left Eye In Collision With Rubber Bullet Bill NEW DONK CITY — Beloved local hero Luigi was blinded in his left eye at a protest against police brutality yesterday, when he collided with…
March 2, 2020 Delayed U.S. Coronavirus Preorders Finally Shipping Delayed U.S. Coronavirus Preorders Finally Shipping NEW YORK — Pathogen enthusiasts across the United States received good news yesterday, as global health officials announced that delayed Coronavirus preorders were finally arriving.…
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May 19, 2019 Campaign Finishes Three-Year Run Without DM Campaign Finishes Three-Year Run Without DM BELFAST, Ireland – Players of a local fantasy role-playing game expressed relief and exhaustion today after completing their campaign, ending a three-year run without a…
April 1, 2019 Game Informer Announces Plans to Licky Boom Boom Down Game Informer Announces Plans to Licky Boom Boom Down MINNEAPOLIS — Announcing the surprising news alongside a cover featuring reggae one-hit-wonder Snow of “Informer” fame, monthly gaming magazine Game Informer sent shockwaves rippling through…
February 22, 2019 Game Industry Marvels as Employee Leaves Job By Choice Game Industry Marvels as Employee Leaves Job By Choice REDMOND, Wash. — Former employees of Electronic Arts, Blizzard/Activision, Telltale Games, Daybreak Game Company and more marveled in wonder today as Nintendo of America President…
August 27, 2018 Nintendo Launches Cease & Desist Classic Nintendo Launches Cease & Desist Classic REDMOND, Wash. — Nintendo announced today the release of the newest entry in their “Classic” line of retro hardware, the Cease & Desist Classic. “Nintendo…
