January 11, 2018 Whole Episode of Anime Just Recap Followed by Preview Whole Episode of Anime Just Recap Followed by Preview TOKYO, Japan — The highly acclaimed “Tokyo Ghoul:Re” anime aired a revolutionary episode last night that consisted solely of an eight minute recap of the…
November 30, 2017 Mother Accidentally Starts Successful Twitch Channel When Attempting to Message Son on Facebook Mother Accidentally Starts Successful Twitch Channel When Attempting to Message Son on Facebook ROSELLE, Ill. — Local mother Olivia Mooney accidentally downloaded Overwatch, created a Twitch account, joined a team, launched her webcam, won multiple matches, and garnered…
September 8, 2017 Boyfriend Was Hoping for a Different Kind of Role-Playing Boyfriend Was Hoping for a Different Kind of Role-Playing ST. JOSEPH, Mich. — Brian Freemont was dismayed Thursday evening after being promised a night of wild role-playing by his girlfriend Abbie Case only to…
August 1, 2017 D&D Group Overthrows Dungeon Master in Favor of Dungeon Democracy D&D Group Overthrows Dungeon Master in Favor of Dungeon Democracy DECATUR, Ga. — A local Dungeons & Dragons collective has ousted their overreaching despot today, in what is being reported as a populist coup. In…
July 27, 2017 Paperboy Accosted for Throwing Fake News at Man’s Home Paperboy Accosted for Throwing Fake News at Man’s Home ANYTOWN, U.S. — Johnny Johnson, local paperboy, has been hospitalized after being severely beaten by local resident Grady Hollis for delivering “fake news” to Hollis’…
July 16, 2017 Game of Thrones Show Now Ahead of Local Man’s Masturbation Fantasies Game of Thrones Show Now Ahead of Local Man’s Masturbation Fantasies OAK HILL, Tenn. — Hit TV show Game Of Thrones will officially surpass the plot of Nashville-area resident Drew Cale’s nightly self-pleasuring daydreams with the premiere…
June 12, 2017 GameStop Unveils Used N64 at E3 GameStop Unveils Used N64 at E3 LOS ANGELES — Amid a packed auditorium, EDM music and swirling laser lights, GameStop CEO J. Paul Raines unveiled a used Nintendo 64 console made…
June 5, 2017 Military Tribunal Formally Reprimands Soldier for Teabagging 15 Enemy Combatants Military Tribunal Formally Reprimands Soldier for Teabagging 15 Enemy Combatants THE HAUGE, Netherlands — In a closed-door trial, military leaders leveled punishment against Sgt. Paul Jackson (aka UberDomed2005) for war crimes after allegedly placing his…
