September 27, 2019 If Greta Thunberg is Old Enough to Speak in Front of the UN, She is Old Enough to Accept My Invitation to Mortal Kombat If Greta Thunberg is Old Enough to Speak in Front of the UN, She is Old Enough to Accept My Invitation to Mortal Kombat Greta Thunberg, poster child for the radicalization of our youth, spoke in front of the members of the United Nations on climate change recently. Everyone…
September 1, 2019 Cutscene Would Make Great Video Game Cutscene Would Make Great Video Game PHOENIX — Local gamer Taylor Jostad imagined what a wonderful video game the cutscenes from 2019’s Left Alive would make instead of the banal, monotonous…
August 28, 2019 We Ranked Anime’s Top 10 Static Shots of Power Lines With Cicada Noises We Ranked Anime’s Top 10 Static Shots of Power Lines With Cicada Noises There’s hundreds — if not thousands — of anime that include static shots of power lines with cicada noises. We combed through every single one…
August 22, 2019 Remembering Nintendo’s Failed Power Sock Controller Remembering Nintendo’s Failed Power Sock Controller In the 1980s, Nintendo released several popular customized controllers for playing certain NES games, such as the Light Gun and the unforgettable R.O.B. But few…
July 21, 2019 Girlfriend Brings Home Wrong Deadpool from Comic-Con Girlfriend Brings Home Wrong Deadpool from Comic-Con SAN DIEGO — In what is being viewed as a rather embarrassing mix-up, Amie Faith arrived home with what she believed was her boyfriend after…
July 10, 2019 Worst Kid Has Best Birthday Party Worst Kid Has Best Birthday Party INVERNESS, Ill. — All-around little piece of shit Brenden Mounce, 11, entertained a house full of jealous classmates this weekend due to the fact that…
July 1, 2019 Bernie Sanders Promises All Little Brothers Will Get a Turn on the PlayStation Bernie Sanders Promises All Little Brothers Will Get a Turn on the PlayStation CONCORD, N.H. — Presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders announced his “Gaming for All” legislative plan, which would provide government-backed equal play time for little brothers across…
June 14, 2019 Dhalsim Misses Fight Against Guile After Being Detained by TSA Again Dhalsim Misses Fight Against Guile After Being Detained by TSA Again DALLAS — The renowned World Warrior Tournament competitor from India known as Dhalsim missed an important bout against his American rival, Guile, after being yet…
June 3, 2019 40-Year-Old Asthmatic IT Analyst Explains Exactly How He Would Take Down Active Shooter in the Office 40-Year-Old Asthmatic IT Analyst Explains Exactly How He Would Take Down Active Shooter in the Office ATLANTA — Dale Clarke, a middle-aged computer tech with early onset arthritis, went into explicit detail with his coworkers about how he would take down…
