Dan Kozuh

If Greta Thunberg is Old Enough to Speak in Front of the UN, She is Old Enough to Accept My Invitation to Mortal Kombat

Greta Thunberg, poster child for the radicalization of our youth, spoke in front of the members of the United Nations…

5 years ago

Cutscene Would Make Great Video Game

PHOENIX — Local gamer Taylor Jostad imagined what a wonderful video game the cutscenes from 2019’s Left Alive would make…

5 years ago

We Ranked Anime’s Top 10 Static Shots of Power Lines With Cicada Noises

There's hundreds — if not thousands — of anime that include static shots of power lines with cicada noises. We…

5 years ago

Remembering Nintendo’s Failed Power Sock Controller

In the 1980s, Nintendo released several popular customized controllers for playing certain NES games, such as the Light Gun and…

5 years ago

Girlfriend Brings Home Wrong Deadpool from Comic-Con

SAN DIEGO — In what is being viewed as a rather embarrassing mix-up, Amie Faith arrived home with what she…

5 years ago

Worst Kid Has Best Birthday Party

INVERNESS, Ill. — All-around little piece of shit Brenden Mounce, 11, entertained a house full of jealous classmates this weekend…

5 years ago

Bernie Sanders Promises All Little Brothers Will Get Turn on the PlayStation

CONCORD, N.H. — Presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders announced his “Gaming for All” legislative plan, which would provide government-backed equal play…

5 years ago

Dhalsim Misses Fight Against Guile After Being Detained by TSA Again

DALLAS — The renowned World Warrior Tournament competitor from India known as Dhalsim missed an important bout against his American…

5 years ago

40-Year-Old Asthmatic IT Analyst Explains Exactly How He Would Take Down Active Shooter in the Office

ATLANTA — Dale Clarke, a middle-aged computer tech with early onset arthritis, went into explicit detail with his coworkers about…

5 years ago