Chandler Dean

Gamer Who Used Wiki For Every Quest Praises RPG’s Spirit of Exploration

FRANKLIN, Texas — After consulting a wiki for every single quest from start to finish, local gamer Francesca Bufalini declared…

5 years ago

Autosave Doesn’t Feel as Good as the Real Thing

CHRISTCHURCH, New Zealand — Although experts are split on precisely why, a study of gamers worldwide has determined that the…

5 years ago

Woman Not Excited to Discover Boyfriend Backwards-Compatible With His Exes

AUSTIN, Texas — Local woman Misty Barnhart was reportedly displeased when she realized that her boyfriend Luis Pratt is backward-compatible…

5 years ago

Local Dullard Chooses Mario in Mario Kart

DAYTONA BEACH, Fla. — In a choice that demonstrated an astounding dearth of imagination, town simpleton Adam Tucker decided to…

5 years ago

Shitty Ass Video Doesn’t Have Goddamn Captions

GREENVILLE, S.C. — Social media user Katie Orkin was seen mumbling curse words under her breath and clenching her fist…

5 years ago

Wii U Keeps Insisting Nintendo Consoles Have Big Reunion

KYOTO, Japan — According to complaints from several anonymous home consoles, the Wii U has been repeatedly insisting that all…

5 years ago

Xbox Player Making Whole Performance Out of Adjusting to PS4 Controller

ASTORIA, N.Y. — Despite a litany of other explanations for his subpar performance across several local multiplayer games, local Xbox…

5 years ago

5th Friend Who ‘Doesn’t Mind Watching Everyone Else Play’ Awarded Nobel Peace Prize

OSLO, Norway — In a development widely recognized by everyone in the group chat as “long overdue,” local buddy Dominic…

5 years ago

So-Called Atheist Still Holds Down B While Catching Pokémon

MOLINE, Ill. — Sources close to alleged atheist Bryce Rocha have confirmed that despite his insistence that believing in God…

5 years ago