Chandler Dean

Police Department Assigns Peaceful Protestors Automatic Five-Star Wanted Level

LOS SANTOS, Calif. — In a move that local activists decried as the latest example of carceral state overreach, the…

4 years ago

Animal Crossing Themed Switch Controller Disappears in Puff of Smoke After 10 Uses

SAN ANTONIO, Texas — After using his Animal Crossing themed Switch controller exactly 10 times, local gamer Jonathan Maislin was…

5 years ago

‘Cooking Papa’ Doesn’t Tell You Good Job After Completing Level

DURANGO, Colo. — After sinking a few hours into the latest controversial game in the Cooking Mama franchise, local gamer…

5 years ago

Useless NPC Shares Boring Personal Story That’s Not Even Clue or Anything

EDMOND, Okla. — Upon directing his hero to talk to a kindly NPC, local gamer Rory Leech was devastated to…

5 years ago

Nearly Unusable Controller Still in Rotation Because It Looks Cool

HUNTSVILLE, Texas — Roommates Audley Stoddard, Jay Heath, and Corwin Reed have announced their intention to continue regularly using a…

5 years ago

3DS Charger Really Making Drawer Nightmare to Navigate

DIMEBOX, Texas — As she attempted to locate another power supply that’s actually still in regular rotation, local gamer Willoughby…

5 years ago

Unintuitive Controls Convenient Excuse for Sucking Real Bad at Game

LODI, N.J. — After consistently failing the same mission over and over, local gamer Josh Chung declared that unintuitive controls…

5 years ago

Game Rewards Gamer for Finishing Game With More Game

MILWAUKEE, Wis. — Upon completing what appeared to be the final quest of an RPG, local gamer Kendall Bennett was…

5 years ago

HDMI Cord Seemingly Connected to the Abyss

SHAMONG, N.J. — After attempting to disconnect her Xbox One, local gamer Kim Mahoney discovered that her HDMI cord was…

5 years ago