Chandler Dean

Couple Tearfully Agrees It’s Time to Main Other People

ROCKVILLE CENTRE, N.Y. — After several years of mastering each others’ subtle quirks, local couple Arjun Irukulapati and Ellen Cervantes…

4 years ago

Pandemic to Auto-Renew on March 12th

EARTH — The entire world was devastated to learn Friday that, because of a general oversight on humanity’s part, the…

4 years ago

Boyfriend Takes -7 Environmental Damage Per Second on Mission to Grocery Store

OXFORD, Ohio — In a journey that exposed one of his most glaring character vulnerabilities, local boyfriend Zach McInnes suffered…

4 years ago

Realm’s Chosen Savior Agonizing at Lair Entrance Whether to Drop Broadsword or Scimitar

HYMERA — At the end of a harrowing journey to rescue his land from certain devastation, steadfast warrior Demetrios Cherwink…

4 years ago

Gamer Can’t Help But Hear ‘Continue?’ Every Day When Waking Up

ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — Local gamer Stephen McLaughlin can’t help but hear the voice of the Super Smash Bros. Melee announcer…

4 years ago

Shitty Mobile Game Ad More Fun Than Shitty Mobile Game It Interrupted

WARRENTON, Mo. — In a revelation that made him question his instincts, local gamer Kevin Lanigan recently realized that the…

4 years ago

Ad Making Offensive Insinuation About What You Want to Do in This Game

ATLANTA — According to several users of file downloading services and illegal streaming sites, an advertisement featuring a buxom CGI…

4 years ago

RPG Quests Distract Player From Hours of Riveting Menu Gameplay

WHITE PLAINS, N.Y. — After sinking a solid weekend into the RPG Manifest Beyond, local gamer Mallory Cruz began to…

4 years ago

Triangle Button Just Happy to Be Included

PS4 CONTROLLER — Though it is used sparingly in many gameplay situations, local PS4 button Triangle insisted that it is…

4 years ago