Camden Brazile

Barcade Bartender Decides Man Needs to Be Cut Off From DDR Machine

BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Local Barcade bartender Michael Atticus was forced to eject a patron for disorderly conduct after deeming he…

3 years ago

True Simpsons Fan Doesn’t Think Any of It Is Good

MOBERLY, Mo. — Self-proclaimed “Simpsons Superfan” Walter Groznic took to internet forums with an explosive tirade, finally narrowing down which…

3 years ago

Man Who Lied About Watching Squid Game Forced to Participate in Deadly, High-Stakes Workplace Conversation

TULSA, Okla. — Local man Brandon Cary, who in a moment of panic lied about having seen the acclaimed Korean drama…

3 years ago

Voter Participation Skyrockets After Adding “Goku or Superman” to Ballot

PHILADELPHIA — Local voter registration surged this week directly before the local mayoral election after a city ordinance came into…

3 years ago

Porn Video Weirdly Features Wilhelm Scream

WASHINGTON — Local porn viewer Caleb Fuller was surprised this week when an seemingly innocuous Redtube clip featured the infamous…

3 years ago

BREAKING: Hill Controlled. BREAKING: Hill Contested. BREAKING: Hill Controlled. BREAKING: Hill Contested. BREAKING: Hill Controlled

FORGE WORLD — BREAKING NEWS for all available Spartan soldiers: UNSC forces have vanquished the enemy and emerged victorious, gaining…

3 years ago

Cosplayer Starting to Worry That Nobody at This Applebee’s Has Seen ‘Attack on Titan’

SPRINGFIELD, Ill. — Local cosplayer Dennis Harrison experienced a crisis in a local Applebee’s on Wednesday, as he slowly came…

3 years ago

Streamers Invade SWAT Guy’s House to See How He Likes It

COLUMBIA, Mo. — SWAT Commander Walker Porter reported an unexpected disturbance in his home when an alleged seven Twitch streamers…

3 years ago

Review: I Didn’t Want to Spend $15 So Here’s Five Things WRONG with the ‘Free Guy’ Poster in the Lobby

The movies are finally back. We’ve all longed for the day when cinema would return, and it feels so great…

3 years ago