October 11, 2021 Nervous Woman Introduces Parents to Her Boyfriend’s Twitch Channel Nervous Woman Introduces Parents to Her Boyfriend’s Twitch Channel FRESNO, Calif. — A woman recently introduced her parents to her new boyfriend’s Twitch channel, after months of rescheduling and making excuses not to. “I…
August 11, 2021 Mark Wahlberg Spends Entire Flight Simulator Playthrough Pretending to Stop 9/11 Mark Wahlberg Spends Entire Flight Simulator Playthrough Pretending to Stop 9/11 BOSTON — Mark Wahlberg reportedly streamed a playthrough of Microsoft Flight Simulator on Twitch this weekend, the entirety of which he spent pretending he was…
December 29, 2020 Kratos Joins Fortnite in Attempt to Connect With Son Kratos Joins Fortnite in Attempt to Connect With Son ASGARD — Grumpy father and former Greek god Kratos has joined Fortnite so that he can better connect with his son Atreus, who finds the…
September 12, 2020 Leaked Documents Show Trump Attempted to Hire Bugs Bunny to Saw Mexico Off From North America Leaked Documents Show Trump Attempted to Hire Bugs Bunny to Saw Mexico Off From North America WASHINGTON — Documents leaked by an anonymous whistleblower show that President Donald Trump attempted to hire Bugs Bunny for the purpose of sawing Mexico off…
August 12, 2020 Belle Delphine Arrested for Selling Gamer Girl Uranium to North Korea Belle Delphine Arrested for Selling Gamer Girl Uranium to North Korea WASHINGTON — The FBI confirmed today that viral internet celebrity Mary-Belle Kirschner, better known as Belle Delphine, has been taken into custody for her attempt…
August 4, 2020 New Version of Batman Screams Constantly to Navigate in the Dark New Version of Batman Screams Constantly to Navigate in the Dark BURBANK, Calif. — DC Comics has announced the newest iteration of Batman, who will navigate through the cold, dark streets of Gotham by screaming continuously.…
August 1, 2020 Anti-Video Game Senator Caught Blowing Nintendo Cartridge in Airport Bathroom Anti-Video Game Senator Caught Blowing Nintendo Cartridge in Airport Bathroom NEW YORK CITY — Notorious anti-video game Senator Bob Sandleson was found this weekend blowing a video game cartridge inside a bathroom stall in JFK…
