May 7, 2021 Tedious Baseball Video Game Makes You Play in Minor League for Almost a Whole Season Tedious Baseball Video Game Makes You Play in Minor League for Almost a Whole Season SAN DIEGO — MLB: The Show 21 has received criticism from fans for its single-player campaign, Road to the Show, which forces the main character…
April 16, 2021 ‘Mario Golf: Super Rush’ Adds Guy Who Tells You to Tuck in Your Shirt There, Buddy, This Isn’t the Hood ‘Mario Golf: Super Rush’ Adds Guy Who Tells You to Tuck in Your Shirt There, Buddy, This Isn’t the Hood KYOTO, Japan — In a surprise Direct presentation, Nintendo announced that Mario Golf: Super Rush will be adding a new character: the golf bro who…
April 11, 2021 Review: ‘Link’s Awakening’ Is More Gorgeous Than Ever After 26 Years, Unlike You Review: ‘Link’s Awakening’ Is More Gorgeous Than Ever After 26 Years, Unlike You Review by Andy Holt. Video by Peter Kemme.
March 26, 2021 Gamer Captures Bigfoot at Atrocious 1080p Resolution Gamer Captures Bigfoot at Atrocious 1080p Resolution LONGVIEW, Wash. — Gamer cryptologist Emma Donovan claimed she saw Bigfoot in the woods this morning, but was only able to get footage at an…
March 17, 2021 Man Gets 4 Episodes Into WandaVision Before Realizing He’s Actually Watching Frasier Man Gets 4 Episodes Into WandaVision Before Realizing He’s Actually Watching Frasier MADISON, Wisc. — Local Marvel fan and notorious dumbass Bailey Lynch was reportedly bamboozled into watching multiple episodes of 1993’s Fraiser under the false assumption…
March 13, 2021 Twitter Celebrates 15 Years of Jack Dorsey Going Through It Twitter Celebrates 15 Years of Jack Dorsey Going Through It SAN FRANCISCO — Twitter reached an important milestone this month, celebrating the 15 consecutive years that founder Jack Dorsey has really been going through some…
February 25, 2021 ‘I Hunger for More Movies’ Bellows Minotaur Living Beneath Netflix Headquarters ‘I Hunger for More Movies’ Bellows Minotaur Living Beneath Netflix Headquarters LOS GATOS, Calif. — The grotesque monster living under Netflix cried out in hunger this morning, desperate for more mid-budget features from the streaming platform.…
February 19, 2021 Mars Rover Immediately Fills All Inventory Slots With Ferrite Dust Mars Rover Immediately Fills All Inventory Slots With Ferrite Dust PASADENA, Calif. — Mars rover Perseverance has already been filled to the brim with ferrite dust, engineers announced this morning. “We kinda just aimed the…
February 16, 2021 VR Enthusiast Wishes the Real World Were More Up Close, a Little Blurry VR Enthusiast Wishes the Real World Were More Up Close, a Little Blurry DURHAM, N.C. — Virtual reality gamer Austin Yelts reportedly lost interest in his life after buying an Oculus headset, complaining that the real world was…
