September 20, 2021 EA Sports Just Goes Ahead and Labels Game ‘Pre-Owned’ From the Get-Go EA Sports Just Goes Ahead and Labels Game ‘Pre-Owned’ From the Get-Go REDWOOD CITY, Calif. — Electronic Arts has announced that their sports games will now have “Pre-Owned” printed on the cover, straight off the assembly line,…
September 18, 2021 Gaming Squad Meets Up in Person to Talk About Gaming Face-to-Face Gaming Squad Meets Up in Person to Talk About Gaming Face-to-Face JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — After years of playing video games online, a squad recently met up at a local sports bar to talk about video games…
September 14, 2021 Opinion: Putting a Black Character in ‘God of War’ Would Be Like Putting a Middle Eastern Character in the Bible Opinion: Putting a Black Character in ‘God of War’ Would Be Like Putting a Middle Eastern Character in the Bible If there’s one thing everybody knows about me, it’s that I love realism. Can’t get enough of it. So you can imagine my dismay yesterday,…
September 10, 2021 Nancy Pelosi Deliberately Steers Into Banana Peel After Accidentally Taking Lead in Mario Kart Nancy Pelosi Deliberately Steers Into Banana Peel After Accidentally Taking Lead in Mario Kart WASHINGTON — Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the House of Representatives, hit a banana peel on purpose this morning at Mario Circuit, after inadvertently reaching first…
September 6, 2021 Xbox Controller Just Needs Some Time to Recharge After Grueling 30 Minutes of Work Xbox Controller Just Needs Some Time to Recharge After Grueling 30 Minutes of Work MESA, Ariz. — An exhausted local Xbox controller has reportedly taken some time off to chill and recharge after putting in a brutal 30-minute gaming…
September 6, 2021 Jeff Bezos Demands Plate From Every Single Amazon Employee’s Labor Day Barbecue Jeff Bezos Demands Plate From Every Single Amazon Employee’s Labor Day Barbecue MEDINA, Wash. — Upon learning that employees were enjoying Labor Day barbecues with family and friends, Amazon founder Jeff Bezos reportedly demanded a “heaping plate”…
September 3, 2021 Nintendo Confirms Toadette’s Braids Are the Scalps of Smaller, Weaker Toadettes Nintendo Confirms Toadette’s Braids Are the Scalps of Smaller, Weaker Toadettes KYOTO, Japan — In a somber Direct presentation, Nintendo confirmed that the popular character Toadette makes her trademark pigtails from the scalps of lesser Toadettes,…
August 24, 2021 Mushroom Kingdom Water Usage Up 25% Since Opening of Mario Golf Course Mushroom Kingdom Water Usage Up 25% Since Opening of Mario Golf Course MUSHROOM KINGDOM — A report from the Mushroom Kingdom Department of Water and Power (MKDWP) revealed a steep 25% spike in municipal water usage since…
August 18, 2021 Game Freak Confirms New Pokémon Game Will Have ‘Slower Text Than Ever Before’ Game Freak Confirms New Pokémon Game Will Have ‘Slower Text Than Ever Before’ TOKYO — After releasing an official trailer for Pokémon Legends: Arceus, Game Freak confirmed the new installment will have the slowest-moving text ever seen from…
