January 29, 2020 Controversial Filmmaker Defends Choice to Keep Rolling as Italian Man Is Beaten to Death Controversial Filmmaker Defends Choice to Keep Rolling as Italian Man Is Beaten to Death MUSHROOM KINGDOM — Following a public outcry, auteur filmmaker Lakitu defended his decision to continue running his camera while a simple Italian plumber was burned,…
January 16, 2020 Co-Worker Has Audacity to Bring IT Problem to IT Guy Co-Worker Has Audacity to Bring IT Problem to IT Guy OMAHA, Neb. — Local office worker Chris Thompson, an assistant copywriter at McDalton Consulting Co., allegedly crossed the line into misconduct last week by asking…
January 3, 2020 Overworked Gamer Wishes He Could Just Stay Home and Hate Games All Day Overworked Gamer Wishes He Could Just Stay Home and Hate Games All Day SEATTLE — After working nearly the entire holiday season without a day off, local Walmart cashier Frank Lamonte reported that he had grown exhausted, and…
January 2, 2020 Ring Fit User Hates How Crowded Adventure Gets in January Ring Fit User Hates How Crowded Adventure Gets in January LITTLE ROCK, Ark. — Local Nintendo Ring Fit user Dan Remington expressed frustration at the massively increased number people playing Ring Fit Adventure this month,…
November 13, 2019 Game Freak CEO Forced to Admit He Lied to Fans About Meeting The Rock That One Time Game Freak CEO Forced to Admit He Lied to Fans About Meeting The Rock That One Time TOKYO — In response to intense online pressure, Game Freak founder and CEO Satoshi Tajiri released a statement this morning admitting that he intentionally misled…
November 6, 2019 Todd Howard Sends Late Night DM Just Asking Obsidian How They’ve Been or Whatever Todd Howard Sends Late Night DM Just Asking Obsidian How They’ve Been or Whatever BETHESDA, Md. — Bethesda Softworks CEO Todd Howard reportedly sent a message to The Outer Worlds developer Obsidian late yesterday evening, just to see what…
October 29, 2019 G/O Executive Tells Kotaku to Stick to Nintendoes G/O Executive Tells Kotaku to Stick to Nintendoes NEW YORK — G/O Media CEO Jim Spanfeller has reportedly written a stern letter to the editorial staff at video game website Kotaku, demanding that…
October 19, 2019 Boycotting Porn With Female Characters Sends Gamer on Journey of Self Discovery Boycotting Porn With Female Characters Sends Gamer on Journey of Self Discovery LINCOLN, Neb. — In the months since launching a personal boycott of all “politically correct” pornographic material featuring women of any kind, local gamer Chase…
October 9, 2019 We Sent a Gamer to Drink the Dew on Mount Everest and He Is Almost Certainly Dead We Sent a Gamer to Drink the Dew on Mount Everest and He Is Almost Certainly Dead It is with a heavy heart and absolutely no civil or criminal liability whatsoever that Hard Drive must announce the likely death of French gamer…
