Andy Holt

New ‘Assassin’s Creed’ to Be Set in Ancient Era When Donald Trump Was President

MONTREAL — Following the success of Assassin's Creed: Valhalla, Ubisoft hinted that their next game would delve further into history…

4 years ago

Stupid Mobile Game Costs Hedge Fund Manager $1 Billion

NEW YORK — Hedge fund manager Tweed Newtshire lost over $1 billion this week, all because of a dumb mobile…

4 years ago

Biden Clarifies That $2,000 Check Will Be Next-Gen Upgrade in Late 2021

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Responding to criticism over his planned $1,400 stimulus check, President-elect Joe Biden clarified that a full $2,000…

4 years ago

CD Projekt Red Relieved to Have Only Second-Worst Rollout of the Past Year

WARSAW — Executives at CD Projekt Red breathed a sigh of relief as the disastrous launch of Cyberpunk 2077 dropped…

4 years ago

Kumail Nanjiani Accidentally Crushes Fifth PS5 Controller This Week

LOS ANGELES — Kumail Nanjiani has accidentally shattered a DualSense controller into a thousand pieces for the fifth time this…

4 years ago

Kart Racer Just Wanted to See If It Would Let Him Go Over There

ROYAL RACEWAY — A kart driver at the Royal Raceway Grand Prix was accused of trespassing on the grounds of…

4 years ago

Brian David Gilbert Begins Comprehensive Deep Dive Into How to Get Health Insurance Now

NEW YORK — After leaving Polygon to work on his own projects, video producer Brian David Gilbert began one of…

4 years ago

Kid Who Asked for Console Gets Lump of Coal With “Get PC” Written on It

ANN ARBOR, Mich. — Local gamer Madison Sutton, 12, hoped to find a PS5 video game console under the Christmas…

4 years ago

Door to Entry-Level Job Barred From Other Side

LOS ANGELES — Local graphic designer Max Norman attempted to access an entry-level job this week, only to find that…

4 years ago