Andy Holt

Dying Gamer Uses Last Breath to Recommend ‘Ghost of Tsushima’ If You Haven’t Played It

LANCASTER, Pa. — Recently deceased gamer Kyle Larson used his final words to recommend the PlayStation video game Ghost of…

3 years ago

Microsoft Confirms ‘Stardew Valley’ Coming to Game Pass as Long as We All Agree Joja Corporation Is Not Evil

REDMOND, Wash. — Microsoft has confirmed that the popular indie game Stardew Valley will be included with Xbox Game Pass…

3 years ago

Principled Gamer Only Buys From Studios Where Allegations Haven’t Come Out Yet

MADISON, Wisc. — In an effort to be an ethical consumer, local gamer Teresa Moyers has vowed to purchase video…

3 years ago

Incredibly Charismatic Man Turns Profit on Trip to Grocery Store

TAMPA, Fla. — Using his trademark looks and dynamite charm, local man Chris Marshall made a clean $20 profit on…

3 years ago

Activision Blizzard Confirms Nobody in HR Department Sober Enough to Read Open Letter

SANTA MONICA, Calif. — Activision Blizzard admitted that their entire Human Resources department was “too fucking shithoused” to read an…

3 years ago

Fraternity Criticized for “Activision Blizzard-Like Culture”

FORT SMITH, Ark. — A local chapter of the Lambda Chi Alpha fraternity has been accused of mimicking the toxic…

3 years ago

Jackass 4 to Feature ‘Abolutely Fucking Twisted’ Footage of Steve-O Continuing to Improve His Life

LOS ANGELES — A new trailer promises Jackass Forever will depict Steve-O doing “all kinds of sick shit” to further…

3 years ago

Useless Bartender Doesn’t Know Jack Shit About Town Goings On

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Fitzpatrick’s Beer & Wings has faced a wave of complaints about their pointless bartender, Noah Burke, who…

3 years ago

Microsoft Pulls Commercial That Accidentally Shows Inside-Out Xbox

REDMOND, Wash. — Microsoft posted and immediately removed an Xbox Series X advertisement this morning, after fans noticed the video…

3 years ago