Andy Holt

EA Sports Just Goes Ahead and Labels Game ‘Pre-Owned’ From the Get-Go

REDWOOD CITY, Calif. — Electronic Arts has announced that their sports games will now have “Pre-Owned” printed on the cover,…

3 years ago

Gaming Squad Meets Up in Person to Talk About Gaming Face-to-Face

JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — After years of playing video games online, a squad recently met up at a local sports bar…

3 years ago

Opinion: Putting Black Character in ‘God of War’ Would Be Like Putting a Middle Eastern Character in the Bible

If there’s one thing everybody knows about me, it’s that I love realism. Can’t get enough of it. So you…

3 years ago

Nancy Pelosi Deliberately Steers Into Banana Peel After Accidentally Taking Lead in Mario Kart

WASHINGTON — Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the House of Representatives, hit a banana peel on purpose this morning at Mario…

3 years ago

Xbox Controller Just Needs Some Time to Recharge After Grueling 30 Minutes of Work

MESA, Ariz. — An exhausted local Xbox controller has reportedly taken some time off to chill and recharge after putting…

3 years ago

Jeff Bezos Demands Plate From Every Single Amazon Employee’s Labor Day Barbecue

MEDINA, Wash. — Upon learning that employees were enjoying Labor Day barbecues with family and friends, Amazon founder Jeff Bezos…

3 years ago

Nintendo Confirms Toadette’s Braids Are the Scalps of Smaller, Weaker Toadettes

KYOTO, Japan — In a somber Direct presentation, Nintendo confirmed that the popular character Toadette makes her trademark pigtails from…

3 years ago

Mushroom Kingdom Water Usage Up 25% Since Opening of Mario Golf Course

MUSHROOM KINGDOM — A report from the Mushroom Kingdom Department of Water and Power (MKDWP) revealed a steep 25% spike…

3 years ago

Game Freak Confirms New Pokémon Game Will Have ‘Slower Text Than Ever Before’

TOKYO — After releasing an official trailer for Pokémon Legends: Arceus, Game Freak confirmed the new installment will have the…

3 years ago