Andy Holt

Former Reddit Mod Successfully Re-Enters Society as Wikipedia Editor

PITTSBURGH — After many shameful years working in the underworld of Reddit moderation, local pedantic jerk Martin Thurn claims to…

5 years ago

Historically Shit-Sucking Gamer Swears ‘Valorant’ Is Going to Be Different

GREENSBORO, N.C. — Local gamer Harry Olsen, who has sucked shit at every single video game he has ever played,…

5 years ago

‘Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla’ Designed, Developed and Produced by Multicultural Team of Various Weird Sword Dudes

MONTREAL — Ubisoft has taken a diverse approach to their upcoming Norse-themed video game Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla, making sure to…

5 years ago

Laid Off Gamer Plays Switch in Bathroom Just to Feel Normal Again

LINCOLN, Neb. — After being laid off from his job at a regional cardboard box supply company last week, local…

5 years ago

We Checked in on Red Dead Online and It Still Seems Like Whole Thing

In the year since the release of Red Dead Online, Rockstar has given the game a slew of updates and…

5 years ago

Clifford the Big Red Dog in Critical Condition After Wandering Into Dynamax Battle

HAMMERLOCKE, Galar — Popular children’s book character and television star Clifford the Big Red Dog is reportedly clinging to life…

5 years ago

Quarantine Leaves Introvert Home Alone with Nobody to Tell About What an Introvert He Is

NEW YORK — Self-described introvert Barry Laughlin is reportedly struggling to stay sane during the 14-day coronavirus quarantine period, complaining…

5 years ago

Gamer Touches Stove for First Time This Year

PASADENA, Calif. — Local gamer Miles Trench has reportedly touched his fingertip to the surface of his oven for the first…

5 years ago

47 Dead at HBO ChernobylCon

CHERNOBYL, Ukraine — Superfans of the acclaimed HBO historical miniseries Chernobyl gathered for the first annual ChernobylCon fan convention last…

5 years ago