Study Shows Adjusting Medicine Cabinet Mirror Still Best Way to Reveal Killer Is Behind You

WINNIPEG, Minn. — In an effort to spread awareness about self-defense against serial killers, chainsaw wielders and other assorted miscellaneous…

3 years ago

Bookstore Forced to Sell Stupid Little Nerd Toys

CHICAGO — Wicker Park bookstore Norm’s Books was forced to dedicate a corner of its store to toys, collectibles and…

3 years ago

Bill Clinton Releases Annual List of Favorite Dating Sims Set in High School

NEW YORK — Former President Bill Clinton has reportedly finally revealed his Favorite Dating Sims Set in a High School…

3 years ago

Wordle Fans Concerned After Answers Spell Out “Noble Truth: Steve Warns About Angry Enemy. Users Ought Bring Flame Among House”

NEW YORK — Fans of the viral online spelling phenomenon Wordle have grown concerned after the consecutive 5-letter words seemed…

3 years ago

Hypocrite Crying Bad Game Design Also Dies in One Hit From Knife

ORLANDO, Fla. — Local gamer Drake O’Connor reportedly keeps complaining about a mechanic in the first person shooter game Warfare…

3 years ago

Anita Sarkeesian Criticizes Gay Porn for Lack of Female Representation

LOS ANGELES — Feminist Frequency founder Anita Sarkeesian wrote a critical review of a recent gay porn video, citing the…

3 years ago

Skipping 30 Second Ad in Podcast Becomes 2 Minute Ordeal

NEW YORK — An attempt to quickly pass over a thirty second ad in the middle of a podcast recently…

3 years ago

Late Night Trip to Fridge Derailed By Enemy Who Wasn’t There During Daytime

TOLUCA LAKE, Calif. — After moving to a new home and before learning its spawn points, local woman Janice Dramps…

3 years ago

BREAKING: Shadow The Hedgehog Has Died During Childbirth

CENTRAL CITY — Tragedy struck earlier this morning as motorcycle enthusiast and self-proclaimed ultimate life form Shadow the Hedgehog passed…

3 years ago