San Diego Comic-Con Announces $20 Fountain Soda You Can Buy Online in Lieu of Convention

SAN DIEGO — In a bid to retain engagement with their audience without an in-person event, San Diego Comic-Con has…

3 years ago

343 Refuses to Reveal What Master Chief’s Suit Does With All the Cum

REDMOND, Wash. — Halo Infinite developers 343 Industries have refused to reveal what Master Chief’s armor does with all the…

3 years ago

Geno’s Aunt at Thanksgiving Keeps Suggesting He Apply to Be in ‘Smash Bros’

STAR ROAD — Super Mario RPG character Geno, also known as ♡♪!?, had a reportedly frustrating conversation with his aunt…

3 years ago

Safdie Brothers Sit Down for Incredibly Stressful, Synth-Fueled Thanksgiving

NEW YORK — Josh and Benny Safdie, the auteur duo behind films Good Time and Uncut Gems, reportedly returned home…

3 years ago

Gamer Insists PS5 He Doesn’t Have Is Better Than Xbox Series X He Also Doesn’t Have

COLUMBIA, S.C. — In a recent online argument, local gamer Max Anderson was adamant that the PS5 was “far and…

3 years ago

Super Smash Bros Ultimate Finally Lets Gamers Imagine “What If Cloud Fought Sephiroth?”

TOKYO — Following years of speculation, Super Smash Bros. Ultimate finally allows fans to imagine who would win in a…

3 years ago

Tragic: Beloved Media Property Now Known as the “Original One”

CHICAGO — Netflix, in collaboration with Tomorrow Studios, released their live-action adaptation of beloved series Cowboy Bebop this week, sadly…

3 years ago

Animal Crossing Player Sued After Not Installing Carbon Monoxide Meters in Villagers’ Holiday Homes

KEMAH, Texas — Local man John Hoffman has been hit with a class-action lawsuit after reportedly failing to install carbon…

3 years ago

Jackbox Hard Mode Update Bans the Word ‘Cum’

CHICAGO — Jackbox Games released an update to their suite of party games last night, adding a hard mode that…

3 years ago