Mega Man Unsure of Optimal Order to Ask Bosses for Raise

FALLS CHURCH, Va. — Humanoid robot Mega Man expressed dismay at having no idea what the ideal order is for…

3 years ago

Deposed Cuomo Brothers Get Into Plumbing Business

NEW YORK — Following CNN’s recent termination of Chris Cuomo, former governor Andrew Cuomo joined his brother to announce their…

3 years ago

Peter Molyneux Confirms Milo Died Five Years Ago

GUILDFORD, U.K. — Famed game director Peter Molyneux, completely unprompted, confirmed to members of the press that Milo, the artificial…

3 years ago

Not in the ‘Forbes 30 Under 30’ List? That’s OK! Here’s List of People Who Weren’t Successful Ever

Every year, Forbes releases a new “30 Under 30” list that sends the creative and business world into a depression…

3 years ago

Friend Back From European Trip Won’t Stop Saying “Cross Button” Instead of “X Button”

BALTIMORE — Fresh off a recent trip from Europe, local gamer Morgan Jones dropped in on a Discord voice chat…

3 years ago

Yakuza Member Kicked Out of Family for Not Being Incredible Karaoke Singer

KAMUROCHO, Tokyo — There was controversy in Tokyo last night as the famed Ikezawa yakuza family made the choice to…

3 years ago

Thing You’re Really Excited For Delayed to 2023

After putting off telling you as long as it could, the entertainment industry has announced that the release you were…

3 years ago

Mexico Votes to Change Country’s Tint to Purple

MEXICO CITY — The citizens of Mexico have overwhelmingly voted to change the tint of their country from orange to…

3 years ago

NBC Announces New Show ‘Chicago Gamer’

JUST OUTSIDE OF CHICAGO — NBC and Dick Wolf have announced the most recent addition to their Chicago universe series…

3 years ago